"They didn't. I mean, they did. I was asleep so they told Brandon. I know it's selfish but it really fucking upset me. I was still upset he got the other tests without me wanting to be there for him. And I know, Jess, you suggested it to him and he took your advice. I'm not pissed off now. These are just things I really need to be with him for. I've been feeling like he's not wanting me to be, like he's been trying to get back to being single bachelor celebrity he was before we met. He and I have been missing the mark with communication lately and it really damn hurts. Because I ain't been feeling good and with all the pain, I've been getting pissed at him, which isn't fair. Like, he's been in a state of panic for weeks now, trying to work shit out knowing he could be sick again. It's just a fucking mess. I just thought we'd always be on the same page. He wants things that are terrifying and freaking me out but it's his body and his choices. It's not for me to make him feel guilty about how he wants to play shit but that's what I've been doing. I hate fighting with him. Especially now, with everything." Merlin grabbed some tissues from the box the nurse had gotten for Brandon when she settled Merlin into his room. Brandon had gotten teary and emotional out of the blue but he told Merlin it was nothing to worry about, he was just relieved his surgery went smoothly and it was over. He wiped his eyes when he was getting teary now. "I dunno a prognosis. I dunno the next steps. Brandon asked them to wait to talk about it all with me when I'm feeling better and Beau's out sick anyway. They said it's okay to wait a few days for it, so I guess it's not terrible? Fuck, that sounds stupid. It's cancer. It's terrible! Why is everything terrible when it was all going so well?"