"I don't want him to think that any of my insecurities about any of this are because of him. I made that mistake way too many times with you, letting you feel like my issues were your fault or because you didn't matter enough. I'm a different person now, I won't repeat past bad mistakes. But I guess I'm still scared I will. It's weird that it's been so easy to focus on living life in-the-moment when I'm single and getting my life back on track but the minute someone romantically comes into it again, I start losing my footing and worrying about fucking it up again. In a way, I suppose I've just been trying to make sure he has an out if he decides doing this with me is more than he bargained for. Saying that out loud, it sounds dumb." Jude drew his lips together and listened to the sound of the ocean in the distance as he finally let himself analyse where his mind had been turning since he and Winston's very successful date. "Trying to protect him from me. Old habits die hard. The worst part? I never wanted to hurt you, Reec. Ever. The fact I did, I'll always have to live with. But I'm so fucking conscious of not wanting to do that to anyone else. But I'm also so hooked on him already. Like, it's making my head spin that he's giving me butterflies and that I can't stop thinking about him. We just clicked and I think he's amazing. His smile, the way he laughs, the incredible achievements in his career, how insightful and caring he is. All the things you are. All the things I still feel like I'm not good enough for." He shrugged with a soft sigh, feeling a massive hit of vulnerability saying this stuff out loud. It was also weird that it just happened to be Reecy who was easiest to say it to now.

He got up and went to sit on the end of Reecy's sunlounge, putting his hand over hers. "You're terrified of losing them both. Justin and your baby. I don't have any advice for that beyond telling you that it's okay to be feeling so scared, it feels like it's suffocating you. Especially at a time like this. Sometimes, there's just no words of wisdom that'll cut it. What I do know is that against all odds, no matter what he's going through, Justin will always try his best to make sure his big sister's okay. And when he sees that she's not, he's going to know exactly what to say. The only way Justin gets through life is taking it a moment at a time and maybe that's what you need to do right now. Just one little uterus-nurturing moment at a time. How about I make you some tea? Isn't that supposed to help everything feel a little bit better?"