After watching Sam take the sick bag resolutely, Mark really looked him over in concern. He really did look so unwell. It wasn't so different to the reflection that would stare back at Mark after his heart attack. The grey/beige pallor, the heavy bags beneath his bloodshot eyes, the clammy droplets across his forehead and temples, the dishevelled appearance in general. Sam had never presented himself as clean-cut as Mark did. His hair was longer so it was curlier and he'd never been a fan of a clean shave. There was always a bit of stubble. He suddenly had no idea how he was supposed to survive seeing his twin fighting this battle. He never took Sam for granted but facing him being seriously ill was uncharted waters and Mark didn't feel strong enough to deal. He would. Somehow, he'd have to fucking figure it out. All he knew was even beyond the cancer diagnosis, Sam needed his help to face his own traumatic past, even if he wasn't ready. If there was one thing Mark had skill in, it was that.
He didn't get up to get tea. Tea could fucking wait. "Sammy, Jus isn't a resentful kid. I just want to put that out there for what it's worth. Anything he feels about you and Alexis being together will be way more complex than resentment. Which is why I truly get why you don't want to agitate anything for him. From the moment you knew he existed and how sick he was, you protected him and cared for him like he was yours. You would never want to do anything you thought could contribute to his pain and I think because of that, you're overly conscious of shielding him from anything. You wouldn't even want him to know you're crook if you thought you could keep it concealed. But real talk, mate. There's no fucking way he thinks you're in the way because you and his birth mum fell in love. I can see in my head the look on his face he would give you if he heard that. You know the look I mean, too. That's what you need to think about. That look. Because sometimes it says way more than Jus knows how to verbalise. If this crash hadn't happened, would you have talked to him about any of this?"
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He didn't get up to get tea. Tea could fucking wait. "Sammy, Jus isn't a resentful kid. I just want to put that out there for what it's worth. Anything he feels about you and Alexis being together will be way more complex than resentment. Which is why I truly get why you don't want to agitate anything for him. From the moment you knew he existed and how sick he was, you protected him and cared for him like he was yours. You would never want to do anything you thought could contribute to his pain and I think because of that, you're overly conscious of shielding him from anything. You wouldn't even want him to know you're crook if you thought you could keep it concealed. But real talk, mate. There's no fucking way he thinks you're in the way because you and his birth mum fell in love. I can see in my head the look on his face he would give you if he heard that. You know the look I mean, too. That's what you need to think about. That look. Because sometimes it says way more than Jus knows how to verbalise. If this crash hadn't happened, would you have talked to him about any of this?"