Sam shook his head, lifting it from his hands once he finally managed to move beyond the initial uncontrollable sobs. He just wasn't sure he could completely stop crying now he started. "This shouldn't be about me. Not yet, not until we know Sash is out of the woods. I'm not putting this on Justin right now. None of it. He might look okay psychologically but we have to keep playing it safe with him. It's impossible to know how his traumatic responses will play out." But he stopped, closing his eyes again. He didn't need to spell any of this out for Mark. It was something his twin carried on his shoulders every single day when it came to Justin's care. Sam wasn't a father, he didn't know the true depth of it, even if he would forever share the burden with him.

He sighed, wiping his eyes with the heels of his palms. "Fuck. I feel sick. Christ..." He took a few more moments, resting his forehead in his hands again. "I really love her, Sparky. At first, it was just company and a bit of fun for both of us. It was just this mutual unspoken agreement that the priority would be on her building a relationship with Jus and sometime later down the track when things were more settled, we'd figure the stuff about what we want together in the future. Which was great because we weren't in a rush and it just felt right. Even going through the challenges of her understanding Justin's needs and how his illness can present. We weren't even close to any of this even if the subject had come up. These aren't conversations to have when her son and future son-in-law were nearly killed in a serious car accident. She needs me."