[ TEXT MESSAGE ] To Gen @ asskickingblahniks

[aussielawyer]

I hope your schedule is clear for Friday night. We have a birthday to celebrate.

Comments

[aussielawyer]

Well, I know there's something Bachelory planned for the weekend, so before I get my pubes shave off and my hand glued to my forehead or something, I booked us into the Spa Suite at the Mandarin Oriental. Birthday pampering and lots of nakedness. No, we're feeling that as a family. Talk to him, ask him if he wants to go to the fitting.

[asskickingblahniks]

If anyone shaves your pubes before our wedding night, I'll force feed them their own dick with a rusty fork. I like my men au naturale. Are you fucking kidding me? You seriously did that? I knew there was a reason I was remarrying you. I'll talk to him, and confess I've been a basic bitch.

[aussielawyer]

I'm with you on that, babe. I like my pubes attached, just like Paris. Will never forget his rant about pubes when the chemo kicked in. Of course I'm not fucking kidding. If I can't spoil my wife-to-be, who can I? That's the best way to go about basic bitchness with him. Kid's way too forgiving for his own good. It's his big heart.