Caprice "Reecy" Chester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
headingforsomething) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dreamlikenewyork2017-08-27 03:29 am
headingforsomething) wrote in dreamlikenewyork2017-08-27 03:29 am
"On a blanket with my baby is where I'll be."
Who: Reecy Chester and Kyan Wilson
What: Conversations, cuddles, and ice cream
Where: Atlantic City, NJ
When: After this
Reecy was remembering again what passion was like, and she fucking loved it. Not only had she discovered that all the rumours were true (based on his dancing ability) - Kyan was a fantastic lover - but he may well be one of the most romantic souls to ever walk the earth. She loved that even more. It was the little things, things she had yearned for as long as she could remember. He would make her breakfast in bed, or get up that little bit earlier and jog down to her favourite cafe to pick them up coffee. One night he got home earlier than she did, so he ran her a bath with an amazing apple bubble bath and lit candles all around the room so she could relax. Of course, she didn’t want to take a bath without him, but she was glad to discover the bigger bath in her new place would pay off when Kyan barely fit in her current one due to his height. That meant to much laughs… another thing she loved about this whole thing.
But he also did the traditionally sweet things. He left her cute Post-It messages on the fridge. He bought her flowers. He gave her back rubs. He let her pick what they watched on TV. He held doors open for her and pulled out her chair. He gave her his jacket when she was cold on their walk home from work one night. He cooked her breakfast and made the bacon and eggs into a smiley face and cut the toast into love hearts. He cooked. He cleaned. He did her laundry with his. Basically, she was stuck in that heady confused phase where he just felt too good to be true. Which was surreal, because she had known him forever and he hadn’t morphed into a new person in the time they had been dating. He was still the same person. This was just him, naturally. She was smitten. There was no doubt about that.
Which is why they decided to duck away for a sneaky dirty ‘weekend’ in Atlantic City. They jumped in the car right after they finished work Friday night and drove the two and a half hours down the coast. The next night, they both sweet-talked their understudies into stepping in, and Reecy was glad they were more than happy to oblige because she wanted a little time alone with Kyan to chat to him about a few things. In between trying to catch herself before she kept making gooey heart-eyes at him and borderline drooling. She didn’t understand the phenomenon of how they went from just really great friends to lovers, but she had it on good standing that it worked (thanks Miles and Rhys) so who was she to second-guess it. Things changed, life evolved. It was as simple as that.
They checked in late to their 5-star hotel but didn’t go straight to bed. They went to the bar and had a drink (Kyan stuck to Dr Pepper), basically just enjoying listening to the live music while they sat and held hands. Even something as simple as that Reecy adored and she realised she had been starved for it for a long time. That wasn’t a bad thing, because it was a constant reminder to her not to take any of it for granted. She didn’t think she would, though. It felt different with Kyan in ways she was yet to explain. Maybe she would never need to. She didn’t have those answers yet. Time would tell.
What they did later in the hotel room really couldn’t be isolated to ‘romantic’. Reecy was pretty sure it was some of the best sex she had ever had and that was saying something, because she had a hell of a lot of it in her time. This was all-out, clothes-tearing, hungry passion. She was so much shorter than him, which had come in handy with their rehearsing for the show (that lift he did without batting an eyelid). It had also come in handy when he decided that night he desired showing her his dominating streak she never knew he had. Not in a BDSM sense. That wasn’t him, and it wasn’t her. It did nothing for her when she tried it once. This was just him taking control and fabulously claiming the crown of the Multiple Os. Up against the window from that high-storey room with dizzying views of the city below had her coming completely undone. Not to mention what he did in the shower and all the things he did later in bed with his mouth. If she had an iota of a chance of getting into a heaven she didn’t really believe, it was completely annihilated now.
She woke before him in the morning, sitting on the windowsill with a cup of coffee but much more enjoying the view of him sprawled on his stomach on the bed sleeping than anything Atlantic City could offer out the window. When he woke up and saw she was still naked, he got up and carried her back to bed, both laughing. What was a dirty weekend away without morning sex? Then it was her turn to surprise him. She booked them in for a couples session at the hotel’s day spa for the works. That was something she always wanted to do with a lover, but it was a first. It was a first for Kyan too. He was out of his comfort zone, even feeling shy stripping down for the massage. That, right there, was Kyan, in essence. He played one of the most iconically sexy pop culture characters on a Broadway stage, but under the glitz, glam and Johnny’s very tight pants, he was still Kyan, and that gave her a special thrill in her belly.
It wasn’t far off sunset now and they had gotten ice cream, taking a walk along the boardwalk, holding hands as they went. She looked up at him, enjoying how relaxed he seemed. It was a far cry to how she had seen him in Denver. She felt sick in the stomach just thinking about it, because she hadn’t been able to take his pain away. Nor would she want to. No one would ever be able to take the pain of grief over his mom’s death away from him. Those were the types of life pains you had to feel. Ultimately, it was what humbled you, kept you compassionate. At least, in theory. The world was still full of victims who thought their shit was worse than everyone else’s. It was the ones who didn’t mention it every other hour who you discovered fought the toughest battles. Others just didn’t want to get better, because misery was their comfort zone, and so was the attention it garnered. Kyan was far from that sort of person. On the contrary, he had bottled all the suffering up until he collapsed under the pressure of it, trying to do the whole thing alone.
“Want a taste?” Reecy asked, offering her cone of black cherry cheesecake and red velvet cake scoops.
Kyan smiled and nodded, in turn, offering her a taste of his cookie dough and vanilla scoops (he couldn’t help it if he was old school - vanilla is as vanilla does). He made sure to hold it still for her while she taste and then put his fingers to his lips to catch any excess drips of black cherry cheesecake and red velvet. “Holy shit, that should be outlawed. That’s seriously good. It’s putting mine to shame.”
“We’ll get the vanilla out of you yet, boy,” Reecy joked, laughing. Still, all the while, she was trying to pluck up the courage to talk to him about what was on her mind. Until she realised that was dumb. She knew she could talk to him about anything and whatever the outcome, they would deal with it. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about. It’s a little heavy. Just a small sojourn out of the relaxing fun for a bit?”
Kyan looked at her, a little concerned. “Is something wrong?” It was his first thought. Everything had been going so amazingly well that sometimes, shit could happen to cockblock it. He knew that all too well. Heavy didn’t have to mean bad, though. Heavy could just mean less serious that her giving him a handjob while they were left alone with their face masks on. Reecy was an expert on day spas, she knew how long they would be left and she knew they would knock before they came back in.
Reecy shook her head, taking his hand again to give it a reassuring squeeze. “No. If anything was, I’d tell you right up, okay? I promise you that. It’s…” She was still nervous, regardless. She knew what was at stake and she was conscious that she didn’t want Kyan trapped into anything or like he had to play along. “I got a call the other day. From the adoption service. They wanted to check if I was still okay to proceed with my fast-tracked application. It got delayed. She was admitted to hospital with a bad chest infection. I just thought they ultimately rejected me when push came to shove. They hadn’t…”
“That’s great, though. This is what you wanted. You’ve been waiting for news. Why, is she worse sick?” Kyan asked as they kept wandering leisurely along the boards. It was only a couple of moments before her hesitation dawned on him. “Oh… you mean… wow. Okay. I didn’t think about that,” he confessed sheepishly. He felt dumb, because he knew all about the adoption process Reecy was going through. They had hung out at FAO Schwarz when she needed a distraction from going baby shopping. The biggest reason she bought a bigger place to live was there was a very real chance a little girl would be given to her for adoption. The toddler was born addicted to heroine because her mother was an addict and ultimately committed suicide in front of here. She was then taken into care by her grandparents, but more tragedy struck them and they couldn’t cope. She had health and development issues, but that was exactly what Reecy had been hoping for… to a adopt a child much like Justin, who needed all the love and care in the world, which she had bucketloads to offer.
Reecy chewed on her lip as they walked a little of the way in silence. She left him with his thoughts for a bit so he could process the heavy subject. “I still have time to pull out,” she finally revealed because every since the subject had come up with Winnie, it struck her hard and fast that if Kyan didn’t want to buy into this with her, she would pull out of the adoption. She didn’t want to lose him. It was new, yes, but at the same time, she knew it was one of those special connections that you should never take for granted. She wasn’t ready to let it go just when she had found it.
Kyan frowned and stopped walking, turning to her. He shook his head. “No, don’t do that. This is what you want, isn’t it? Your whole heart was in it when you started the process. Things have changed, but… I mean, I don’t know. This is literally something I have never considered in my life. It didn’t come up in my last relationship.” He tossed the last of his ice cream into the nearby trash because it had started to drip down his hand when he was distracted from eating it. This conversation was way more important.
“See, I don’t want to pressure you. I really don’t want you to feel like this has to be something you consider. There’s every chance you’re not ready for that part of your life, especially if you haven’t thought about it. Honestly, I don’t think I ever would if I hadn’t gotten knocked up a couple of times when I shouldn’t have. Just mistakes, errors of judgment. It changed something in me, though. It’s nothing that can’t wait until another time… later in my life. Things happen for a reason, you know? Maybe this is a sign that I’m not ready? That I still have more living to do or something.” Reecy followed suit discarding her ice cream. The sky was getting darker with the sun get ready to set.
Kyan took a deep breath and glanced at the water. “Let’s go down on the beach and watch the sunset. It’s crowded here, we’ll have a bit more privacy down there. Do want to take off your shoes? I can carry them for you. I’m not changing the subject, by the way,” he quickly added before she thought that.
Reecy was giving him another one of those awed smiles, tipping her head a little with adoration. She did as he invited, slipping her sandals off and handing them to him to carry. Fuck, did he do the chivalry so naturally, she was getting addicted to it. They wandered out beyond where most of the crowds were and found a spot to sit on the sand together. She took his hand again and watched the sun dipping towards the horizon. “This is the first time I’ve ever watched the sunset with someone I’m dating.”
“Not the last,” Kyan returned easily, leaning in to kiss her temple. He loved how her shampoo smelled of apples and her perfume was a sexy contrast. “So, if we weren’t dating, what would you be thinking about the adoption right now? Would you be still wanting to go ahead?”
Reecy liked that she was guiding her here. But he had always been easy to talk to. “I think so. Most days, I think so. Then I see how much Justin is suffering and really feel like I am so not as good as Mark is as a parent. Like I’ll fuck it all up when she needs me the most. Then I look at Holly and Lorenzo and reminded that it’s not impossible, even in the worst of circumstances. Little Holly has gastroparesis, so she’s in and out of hospital, she has medical stuff and extra needs they always need to be conscious of. Then I look at my dad, and remember I have perfect parent genes in me. I think. It may have skipped a generation. Do you feel completely averted to all this and you’re just giving me an outlet to talk it out? I don’t want you telling me I’m going to be an excellent mom and then breaking up with me because it’s my destiny or something.”
Kyan laughed and shook his head, smirking. “No catastrophizing everything prematurely,” he chastised fondly. “That’s not going to happen. You’re amazing and I can’t believe all of this is happening, and working so well. I’m not giving it up. What would we have to do if, say, I wanted to go into this with you? What would the first steps of the process be?”
“We’d have to meet with the adoption agency so they could add you to the application and run all the necessary checks. If you have a secret criminal record no one knows about, speak now, or forever hold your peace.” Reecy shot him another smile and bumped her shoulder softly against his, knowing they were edging into tough territory considering what happened with his mom and all. That wasn’t ever something that would be exposed to risk him getting a criminal record. It was a family secret, it wasn’t going beyond them. “Hell of a lot of paperwork, hell of a lot of interviews.”
“Would it delay her being placed?” Kyan asked. He didn’t like the guilty churn in his gut when the subject of his mom came up. He deserved a criminal record, he took a life. But it had all progressed well beyond that now. It was his burden to live with for the rest of his life, he couldn’t let giving his mom an easing passing from life ruin him living his. That was something both Reecy and Trey helped him come to terms with.
“Not if you’re squeaky clean and we act quick. You’re an American citizen and were born here, so it cuts out a whole lot of checks that might have otherwise needed to happen. You need things like character references and stuff. Then there’s the process they call homestudy, which I’m only about halfway through because it had to be put on hold for our tour. Meetings, interviews, training sessions to prep for the adoption. Checks of the home when we move in. Once all that’s done, we’d proceed to meeting with her. It’s heavy, sweetheart. More heavy than even having a child naturally. No one’s breathing down your neck and putting you through the wringer with that. I’ve had to ration my visits to Zephyr so I don’t get clucky,” Reecy joked with a laugh.
Kyan grinned. “But he’s so cute! Hell, does he look like Clint, Lorenzo and Richie. Those genes are some good blood.” He put his arm around her shoulders, cuddling her close. “Does that mean at any point in the process up to meeting her, we could pull out? I mean, emotionally-wise. I’m not naive to think that once the meeting happens, the stakes raise a hell of a lot. There’s no way that wouldn’t change you. Especially a child with special needs like that.”
Reecy let her eyes fall closed, basking in the feeling of his hug. She liked how he gave bear-hugs, almost akin to Justin’s smoosh-hugs. Not quite as much the same, but very close. Sitting here on the beach, watching the sunset, talking about things that were really important to her and, in a very real sense, a potential part of their future. She hadn’t felt this content in a long time. “That’s it. I’ve come close to pulling out a few times. I know, it’s a lot to think about logistically, but there’s options. A very part-time nanny while we’re both working or rehearsing, or we can pop her into something like Broadway Babysitters. I’ve even chatted to Dextor and said he would love the job. He’s been hunting around now the kids he was caring for have gotten older. I’ve got an epic fuckton of notes I made hashing out the whole thing. I’m happy to share them with you. You don’t need to make a snap decision. I just wanted to put it out there, so maybe we can make the decision together.”
“How about we keep talking about it, but in the meantime, we make an appointment with the adoption agency together to get the ball rolling? If there’s time to pull out if we decide we don’t want to proceed, why delay the process and hold her longer in care? The quicker we act, the less potential delay. We can just roll with it and see how we feel organically about it. How does that sound?” Kyan suggested. He never took decisions lightly. It took him forever to decide to take the Dirty Dancing role, and it was one of the best things to ever happen to him. But this, he knew was so deeply important to Reecy, on so many levels. “I’m not letting you give up your dream to adopt just because I’ve come on the scene. Just because I haven’t thought about it doesn’t mean I don’t want to consider it now. Yeah?”
As he spoke, Reecy was gazing at him. She probably looked like a lovesick puppy. How was it all so fucking easy with him? She could listen to his soft and soothing voice for ever, a voice that was one of reason and compassion. “I love you.” It fell out of her mouth before she could catch it, and it took her completely by surprise. So much that she put her hand up to her mouth, like she was a kid who just said a dirty word. “Sorry, sorry! That was… sorry,” she added hastily. Soon. It was soon. Probably too soon. Shit, fuck, shit.
Kyan closed his hand over hers and pulled it from her mouth. He replaced it with his lips in a kiss, lingering, deep, loving. “I love you too,” he soon murmured, smiling at her. His eyes dropped her lips, enjoying how easily their kisses came. “So, we jump in, yeah? Take a fucking massive leap of faith, but together?”
Reecy felt a warmth brim up inside and she was grinning, nodding. “You’re on, Smooshie v2.0.”
LOG, COMPLETE
What: Conversations, cuddles, and ice cream
Where: Atlantic City, NJ
When: After this
Reecy was remembering again what passion was like, and she fucking loved it. Not only had she discovered that all the rumours were true (based on his dancing ability) - Kyan was a fantastic lover - but he may well be one of the most romantic souls to ever walk the earth. She loved that even more. It was the little things, things she had yearned for as long as she could remember. He would make her breakfast in bed, or get up that little bit earlier and jog down to her favourite cafe to pick them up coffee. One night he got home earlier than she did, so he ran her a bath with an amazing apple bubble bath and lit candles all around the room so she could relax. Of course, she didn’t want to take a bath without him, but she was glad to discover the bigger bath in her new place would pay off when Kyan barely fit in her current one due to his height. That meant to much laughs… another thing she loved about this whole thing.
But he also did the traditionally sweet things. He left her cute Post-It messages on the fridge. He bought her flowers. He gave her back rubs. He let her pick what they watched on TV. He held doors open for her and pulled out her chair. He gave her his jacket when she was cold on their walk home from work one night. He cooked her breakfast and made the bacon and eggs into a smiley face and cut the toast into love hearts. He cooked. He cleaned. He did her laundry with his. Basically, she was stuck in that heady confused phase where he just felt too good to be true. Which was surreal, because she had known him forever and he hadn’t morphed into a new person in the time they had been dating. He was still the same person. This was just him, naturally. She was smitten. There was no doubt about that.
Which is why they decided to duck away for a sneaky dirty ‘weekend’ in Atlantic City. They jumped in the car right after they finished work Friday night and drove the two and a half hours down the coast. The next night, they both sweet-talked their understudies into stepping in, and Reecy was glad they were more than happy to oblige because she wanted a little time alone with Kyan to chat to him about a few things. In between trying to catch herself before she kept making gooey heart-eyes at him and borderline drooling. She didn’t understand the phenomenon of how they went from just really great friends to lovers, but she had it on good standing that it worked (thanks Miles and Rhys) so who was she to second-guess it. Things changed, life evolved. It was as simple as that.
They checked in late to their 5-star hotel but didn’t go straight to bed. They went to the bar and had a drink (Kyan stuck to Dr Pepper), basically just enjoying listening to the live music while they sat and held hands. Even something as simple as that Reecy adored and she realised she had been starved for it for a long time. That wasn’t a bad thing, because it was a constant reminder to her not to take any of it for granted. She didn’t think she would, though. It felt different with Kyan in ways she was yet to explain. Maybe she would never need to. She didn’t have those answers yet. Time would tell.
What they did later in the hotel room really couldn’t be isolated to ‘romantic’. Reecy was pretty sure it was some of the best sex she had ever had and that was saying something, because she had a hell of a lot of it in her time. This was all-out, clothes-tearing, hungry passion. She was so much shorter than him, which had come in handy with their rehearsing for the show (that lift he did without batting an eyelid). It had also come in handy when he decided that night he desired showing her his dominating streak she never knew he had. Not in a BDSM sense. That wasn’t him, and it wasn’t her. It did nothing for her when she tried it once. This was just him taking control and fabulously claiming the crown of the Multiple Os. Up against the window from that high-storey room with dizzying views of the city below had her coming completely undone. Not to mention what he did in the shower and all the things he did later in bed with his mouth. If she had an iota of a chance of getting into a heaven she didn’t really believe, it was completely annihilated now.
She woke before him in the morning, sitting on the windowsill with a cup of coffee but much more enjoying the view of him sprawled on his stomach on the bed sleeping than anything Atlantic City could offer out the window. When he woke up and saw she was still naked, he got up and carried her back to bed, both laughing. What was a dirty weekend away without morning sex? Then it was her turn to surprise him. She booked them in for a couples session at the hotel’s day spa for the works. That was something she always wanted to do with a lover, but it was a first. It was a first for Kyan too. He was out of his comfort zone, even feeling shy stripping down for the massage. That, right there, was Kyan, in essence. He played one of the most iconically sexy pop culture characters on a Broadway stage, but under the glitz, glam and Johnny’s very tight pants, he was still Kyan, and that gave her a special thrill in her belly.
It wasn’t far off sunset now and they had gotten ice cream, taking a walk along the boardwalk, holding hands as they went. She looked up at him, enjoying how relaxed he seemed. It was a far cry to how she had seen him in Denver. She felt sick in the stomach just thinking about it, because she hadn’t been able to take his pain away. Nor would she want to. No one would ever be able to take the pain of grief over his mom’s death away from him. Those were the types of life pains you had to feel. Ultimately, it was what humbled you, kept you compassionate. At least, in theory. The world was still full of victims who thought their shit was worse than everyone else’s. It was the ones who didn’t mention it every other hour who you discovered fought the toughest battles. Others just didn’t want to get better, because misery was their comfort zone, and so was the attention it garnered. Kyan was far from that sort of person. On the contrary, he had bottled all the suffering up until he collapsed under the pressure of it, trying to do the whole thing alone.
“Want a taste?” Reecy asked, offering her cone of black cherry cheesecake and red velvet cake scoops.
Kyan smiled and nodded, in turn, offering her a taste of his cookie dough and vanilla scoops (he couldn’t help it if he was old school - vanilla is as vanilla does). He made sure to hold it still for her while she taste and then put his fingers to his lips to catch any excess drips of black cherry cheesecake and red velvet. “Holy shit, that should be outlawed. That’s seriously good. It’s putting mine to shame.”
“We’ll get the vanilla out of you yet, boy,” Reecy joked, laughing. Still, all the while, she was trying to pluck up the courage to talk to him about what was on her mind. Until she realised that was dumb. She knew she could talk to him about anything and whatever the outcome, they would deal with it. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about. It’s a little heavy. Just a small sojourn out of the relaxing fun for a bit?”
Kyan looked at her, a little concerned. “Is something wrong?” It was his first thought. Everything had been going so amazingly well that sometimes, shit could happen to cockblock it. He knew that all too well. Heavy didn’t have to mean bad, though. Heavy could just mean less serious that her giving him a handjob while they were left alone with their face masks on. Reecy was an expert on day spas, she knew how long they would be left and she knew they would knock before they came back in.
Reecy shook her head, taking his hand again to give it a reassuring squeeze. “No. If anything was, I’d tell you right up, okay? I promise you that. It’s…” She was still nervous, regardless. She knew what was at stake and she was conscious that she didn’t want Kyan trapped into anything or like he had to play along. “I got a call the other day. From the adoption service. They wanted to check if I was still okay to proceed with my fast-tracked application. It got delayed. She was admitted to hospital with a bad chest infection. I just thought they ultimately rejected me when push came to shove. They hadn’t…”
“That’s great, though. This is what you wanted. You’ve been waiting for news. Why, is she worse sick?” Kyan asked as they kept wandering leisurely along the boards. It was only a couple of moments before her hesitation dawned on him. “Oh… you mean… wow. Okay. I didn’t think about that,” he confessed sheepishly. He felt dumb, because he knew all about the adoption process Reecy was going through. They had hung out at FAO Schwarz when she needed a distraction from going baby shopping. The biggest reason she bought a bigger place to live was there was a very real chance a little girl would be given to her for adoption. The toddler was born addicted to heroine because her mother was an addict and ultimately committed suicide in front of here. She was then taken into care by her grandparents, but more tragedy struck them and they couldn’t cope. She had health and development issues, but that was exactly what Reecy had been hoping for… to a adopt a child much like Justin, who needed all the love and care in the world, which she had bucketloads to offer.
Reecy chewed on her lip as they walked a little of the way in silence. She left him with his thoughts for a bit so he could process the heavy subject. “I still have time to pull out,” she finally revealed because every since the subject had come up with Winnie, it struck her hard and fast that if Kyan didn’t want to buy into this with her, she would pull out of the adoption. She didn’t want to lose him. It was new, yes, but at the same time, she knew it was one of those special connections that you should never take for granted. She wasn’t ready to let it go just when she had found it.
Kyan frowned and stopped walking, turning to her. He shook his head. “No, don’t do that. This is what you want, isn’t it? Your whole heart was in it when you started the process. Things have changed, but… I mean, I don’t know. This is literally something I have never considered in my life. It didn’t come up in my last relationship.” He tossed the last of his ice cream into the nearby trash because it had started to drip down his hand when he was distracted from eating it. This conversation was way more important.
“See, I don’t want to pressure you. I really don’t want you to feel like this has to be something you consider. There’s every chance you’re not ready for that part of your life, especially if you haven’t thought about it. Honestly, I don’t think I ever would if I hadn’t gotten knocked up a couple of times when I shouldn’t have. Just mistakes, errors of judgment. It changed something in me, though. It’s nothing that can’t wait until another time… later in my life. Things happen for a reason, you know? Maybe this is a sign that I’m not ready? That I still have more living to do or something.” Reecy followed suit discarding her ice cream. The sky was getting darker with the sun get ready to set.
Kyan took a deep breath and glanced at the water. “Let’s go down on the beach and watch the sunset. It’s crowded here, we’ll have a bit more privacy down there. Do want to take off your shoes? I can carry them for you. I’m not changing the subject, by the way,” he quickly added before she thought that.
Reecy was giving him another one of those awed smiles, tipping her head a little with adoration. She did as he invited, slipping her sandals off and handing them to him to carry. Fuck, did he do the chivalry so naturally, she was getting addicted to it. They wandered out beyond where most of the crowds were and found a spot to sit on the sand together. She took his hand again and watched the sun dipping towards the horizon. “This is the first time I’ve ever watched the sunset with someone I’m dating.”
“Not the last,” Kyan returned easily, leaning in to kiss her temple. He loved how her shampoo smelled of apples and her perfume was a sexy contrast. “So, if we weren’t dating, what would you be thinking about the adoption right now? Would you be still wanting to go ahead?”
Reecy liked that she was guiding her here. But he had always been easy to talk to. “I think so. Most days, I think so. Then I see how much Justin is suffering and really feel like I am so not as good as Mark is as a parent. Like I’ll fuck it all up when she needs me the most. Then I look at Holly and Lorenzo and reminded that it’s not impossible, even in the worst of circumstances. Little Holly has gastroparesis, so she’s in and out of hospital, she has medical stuff and extra needs they always need to be conscious of. Then I look at my dad, and remember I have perfect parent genes in me. I think. It may have skipped a generation. Do you feel completely averted to all this and you’re just giving me an outlet to talk it out? I don’t want you telling me I’m going to be an excellent mom and then breaking up with me because it’s my destiny or something.”
Kyan laughed and shook his head, smirking. “No catastrophizing everything prematurely,” he chastised fondly. “That’s not going to happen. You’re amazing and I can’t believe all of this is happening, and working so well. I’m not giving it up. What would we have to do if, say, I wanted to go into this with you? What would the first steps of the process be?”
“We’d have to meet with the adoption agency so they could add you to the application and run all the necessary checks. If you have a secret criminal record no one knows about, speak now, or forever hold your peace.” Reecy shot him another smile and bumped her shoulder softly against his, knowing they were edging into tough territory considering what happened with his mom and all. That wasn’t ever something that would be exposed to risk him getting a criminal record. It was a family secret, it wasn’t going beyond them. “Hell of a lot of paperwork, hell of a lot of interviews.”
“Would it delay her being placed?” Kyan asked. He didn’t like the guilty churn in his gut when the subject of his mom came up. He deserved a criminal record, he took a life. But it had all progressed well beyond that now. It was his burden to live with for the rest of his life, he couldn’t let giving his mom an easing passing from life ruin him living his. That was something both Reecy and Trey helped him come to terms with.
“Not if you’re squeaky clean and we act quick. You’re an American citizen and were born here, so it cuts out a whole lot of checks that might have otherwise needed to happen. You need things like character references and stuff. Then there’s the process they call homestudy, which I’m only about halfway through because it had to be put on hold for our tour. Meetings, interviews, training sessions to prep for the adoption. Checks of the home when we move in. Once all that’s done, we’d proceed to meeting with her. It’s heavy, sweetheart. More heavy than even having a child naturally. No one’s breathing down your neck and putting you through the wringer with that. I’ve had to ration my visits to Zephyr so I don’t get clucky,” Reecy joked with a laugh.
Kyan grinned. “But he’s so cute! Hell, does he look like Clint, Lorenzo and Richie. Those genes are some good blood.” He put his arm around her shoulders, cuddling her close. “Does that mean at any point in the process up to meeting her, we could pull out? I mean, emotionally-wise. I’m not naive to think that once the meeting happens, the stakes raise a hell of a lot. There’s no way that wouldn’t change you. Especially a child with special needs like that.”
Reecy let her eyes fall closed, basking in the feeling of his hug. She liked how he gave bear-hugs, almost akin to Justin’s smoosh-hugs. Not quite as much the same, but very close. Sitting here on the beach, watching the sunset, talking about things that were really important to her and, in a very real sense, a potential part of their future. She hadn’t felt this content in a long time. “That’s it. I’ve come close to pulling out a few times. I know, it’s a lot to think about logistically, but there’s options. A very part-time nanny while we’re both working or rehearsing, or we can pop her into something like Broadway Babysitters. I’ve even chatted to Dextor and said he would love the job. He’s been hunting around now the kids he was caring for have gotten older. I’ve got an epic fuckton of notes I made hashing out the whole thing. I’m happy to share them with you. You don’t need to make a snap decision. I just wanted to put it out there, so maybe we can make the decision together.”
“How about we keep talking about it, but in the meantime, we make an appointment with the adoption agency together to get the ball rolling? If there’s time to pull out if we decide we don’t want to proceed, why delay the process and hold her longer in care? The quicker we act, the less potential delay. We can just roll with it and see how we feel organically about it. How does that sound?” Kyan suggested. He never took decisions lightly. It took him forever to decide to take the Dirty Dancing role, and it was one of the best things to ever happen to him. But this, he knew was so deeply important to Reecy, on so many levels. “I’m not letting you give up your dream to adopt just because I’ve come on the scene. Just because I haven’t thought about it doesn’t mean I don’t want to consider it now. Yeah?”
As he spoke, Reecy was gazing at him. She probably looked like a lovesick puppy. How was it all so fucking easy with him? She could listen to his soft and soothing voice for ever, a voice that was one of reason and compassion. “I love you.” It fell out of her mouth before she could catch it, and it took her completely by surprise. So much that she put her hand up to her mouth, like she was a kid who just said a dirty word. “Sorry, sorry! That was… sorry,” she added hastily. Soon. It was soon. Probably too soon. Shit, fuck, shit.
Kyan closed his hand over hers and pulled it from her mouth. He replaced it with his lips in a kiss, lingering, deep, loving. “I love you too,” he soon murmured, smiling at her. His eyes dropped her lips, enjoying how easily their kisses came. “So, we jump in, yeah? Take a fucking massive leap of faith, but together?”
Reecy felt a warmth brim up inside and she was grinning, nodding. “You’re on, Smooshie v2.0.”
LOG, COMPLETE