Justin Mark Campbell (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
likefatherlikeson) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dreamlikenewyork2017-03-20 09:34 pm
likefatherlikeson) wrote in dreamlikenewyork2017-03-20 09:34 pm
"Even when the sun is shinning I can't avoid the lightning."
Who: Justin, Mark and Sam Campbell
What: Keeping in the loop
Where: Cardiac Unit, Mount Sinai
When: Day after Mark's hospitalisation
Justin was determined to get to work that day, and to get through the two shows. He knew Jeff was pretty much constantly on stand-by at the moment, and Caden had put in more reinforcements of back-up plans with understudies because Justin wasn't cleared to return to his full workload. Which was never work every day anyway. It was in his contract that he have two consecutive days off per week, and he had to have downtime for his school work. Medically, they wouldn't clear him for his normal schedule for the moment. It was a step-by-step process.
What he hadn't intended was to be shaken by Sasha saying he would miss everyone when he went back home, to his new place in New Rochelle. He didn't realise until that specific moment that he wasn't looking forward to going back to a lonely bed and not seeing Sasha each day. Instead of letting himself get upset by it, he just exited quickly and didn't let himself think about it. Eventually, he would have to think about it. But he couldn't think about it and his dad being sick at the same time, or it would be a recipe for disaster when his mood was already volatile and constantly on a knife's edge at the moment. He had to remember to self-preserve. He didn't want to get sick again like he had been.
Narrowly avoiding a fan encounter in the foyer of the corridor by having Richie intercept and pretend he was meeting Justin, he soon found himself back in the Cardiac Unit. He hated this place. It was miserable. Everyone here had heart problems, and heart problems were fucking awful. Not just for the patient, but for the people who loved them. There was nothing not-scary about heart problems. He had to brace himself out in the corridor to go in, trying to prepare himself for bad news. When he got there, Uncle Sam was sitting with his dad and they were chatting. This time, his dad was awake, but regardless, Justin hesitated at the door.
Mark smiled seeing his kid. "Hey, son. How are you feeling, kiddo? I've missed you." He held his hand out for Justin to come give him a hug and sit near him. He had still been out of it when his parents had come to take Justin home to bed. According to Sam, Justin had stayed with him and slept on the bed with him for a few hours when the Valium knocked him out, but his mum, being a typical fussing grandmother, wanted Justin home in his bed to sleep it off. She had left Mark in the capable hands of Sam and the doctors. Also James, Alec, and Kade, who were sticking by if anyone needed anything. They all understood the juggling with Justin. The only way you could help him was to take each day at a time, often only each hour at a time.
Justin came in at the invitation. He gave his dad a hug that lingered when he couldn't stop himself clinging. In the hug, he inevitably got teary, and stayed there while he fought the urge to cry off. When the hug was released, he was sniffling and sat down in the side of the bed next to his dad. "So, what are you going to tell me? I know something's wrong. I know people don't just have things go numb on them for no reason. I saw in the notes when Uncle Sam showed me there had a neurological assessment." He looked at his uncle sitting beside the bed. There was a hint of a Look there. Justin was still smarting from being triggered how he was. All he wanted was to be kept involved, especially with his dad's health.
Sam immediately felt the guilt again, not to mention sheepish at the look his nephew was nailing him with. "I don't have enough words to apologise, mate. I don't want to make excuses, but I was panicking myself, because I feel what your dad was feeling. I made a wrong move in a split second of dumb, because with the heart, rapid-response can often be the difference between life or death. I know I sound like a doctor, and you need me to be your uncle way more. I'm so sorry. From here on, you're with your dad all the way. Just like he wants and needs, that's why I called you."
Justin listened and soon nodded. "Okay," he murmured and wet his lips. "Thanks. And I'm, um... I'm sorry I lost my shit. Like, I couldn't help it, but I feel like shit about it. What's going on? Has Dad got something bad?"' Fuck, did he not want to ask questions like that, but he couldn't stop it. He needed to know. Not knowing was the worst.
"You can't help it, kiddo," Mark told his son softly, rubbing his back now he was close enough. Even if he was ill, Mark being a dad didn't stop. He wanted to soothe his son, protect him, take care of him, reassure him. As soon as he woke early that morning, he had wanted to go straight home to see Justin, and had a valid fear Justin self-harmed again. He could relax when Sam told him Justin had gone home to bed, and on last look by their mum, was sound asleep with Sasha. "Your Uncle Sam wants to explain this stuff to you, so you're up to speed..."
Sam nodded and sat forward. He hadn't realised how quickly Justin skimmed that page of medical notes, or he would have tried to elaborate at the time. He had just been focused on trying to reassure him Mark hadn't had a heart attack, a stroke, or had something horrific like cancer. Because in the state he had been, Justin didn't have the ability to rationalise and would have seen it all at its worst. "The pins and needles and numbness are the part that needs to be looked into further. Sometimes, it can happen with heart problems, but usually in the arm or face, not down the side, into the legs like your dad said he was having. In saying that, panic can also cause it. But it's not something we can just ignore. And your dad has said now that he thinks he might have had more of it before he was sick the other night."
Mark hated the horrified look of fear Justin was suddenly giving him. He knew he had to respond quickly, and smartly. "Not severe, buddy. Nothing like that. Just my foot going to sleep at the desk at work, or legs feeling uncomfortable after I've been sitting too long. I didn't think anything of it, because I spent a lot of time on my arse. But considering everything else that happened quickly, I think it's best to just take a look at everything, just to be on the same side."
"That's what was happening to Uncle Paris," Justin said, and his words were choked up because he was starting to get scared here. "He said it. He told me. His legs went numb before he passed out in London."
"It's not a tumour, mate," Uncle Sam reassured him. "That's been ruled out with a CT scan."
Justin shook his head. "No, but he nearly slipped something else was wrong one time. He never said what, and just pushed it aside when I asked him, and said he just meant the tumour. What if it's something really bad? What if it can't be treated?"
Mark took his son's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Look at me, kiddo," he urged. He knew the warning signs with Justin all-too well, and when he started to speak quickly, it was one of the more common ones to notice. "How about we let them do whatever tests they need for anything any of this might mean? Then when we get all the results, we'll worry more then. Until then, you're just going to make yourself sick and upset. And you've been doing so well in your recovery."
"Can I be here for the tests? Can I stay with Dad?" Justin asked, looking at his uncle. "I can pass up the matinee show. I'll just go tonight. I want to be here."
Sam nodded and stood up to give Justin a kiss on the head, and ruffled his hair. "Of course you can. I'll go and get the ball rolling. But there's going to be one test that's really not nice, buddy. We want to a do a lumbar puncture. It's a big nasty needle into the spine."
Mark watched Justin for his reaction. Right before his kid arrived, Mark had been cussing up a storm about it, bitching that all this was dumb, and they weren't going to find anything. It was just a virus, he had work to do, blah, blah, blah. Basically everything Justin would probably punch him in the face for if he heard it himself. The biggest thing was worried about was if they found something that was treatable, but not curable. Something he might have for the rest of his life, something that might impede on his ability to be his son's carer. It made him feel ill to think about.
"I'm staying," Justin resolved without an iota of hesitation, even if his voice was shaky. He couldn't stop being emotional, but he could still be strong with it.
And that's what happened. Justin called Caden and apologised, and Caden told him to take as long as he needed. The only time Justin wasn't at his dad's side was when he was in having an MRI and had to wait in the small observation area with the radiographers. He was there for everything else, and stayed close holding his dad's hand when he had the lumbar puncture. It made him feel a bit sick in the stomach with what was happening, but he stuck it out... and then it was just a waiting game.
LOG, COMPLETE
What: Keeping in the loop
Where: Cardiac Unit, Mount Sinai
When: Day after Mark's hospitalisation
Justin was determined to get to work that day, and to get through the two shows. He knew Jeff was pretty much constantly on stand-by at the moment, and Caden had put in more reinforcements of back-up plans with understudies because Justin wasn't cleared to return to his full workload. Which was never work every day anyway. It was in his contract that he have two consecutive days off per week, and he had to have downtime for his school work. Medically, they wouldn't clear him for his normal schedule for the moment. It was a step-by-step process.
What he hadn't intended was to be shaken by Sasha saying he would miss everyone when he went back home, to his new place in New Rochelle. He didn't realise until that specific moment that he wasn't looking forward to going back to a lonely bed and not seeing Sasha each day. Instead of letting himself get upset by it, he just exited quickly and didn't let himself think about it. Eventually, he would have to think about it. But he couldn't think about it and his dad being sick at the same time, or it would be a recipe for disaster when his mood was already volatile and constantly on a knife's edge at the moment. He had to remember to self-preserve. He didn't want to get sick again like he had been.
Narrowly avoiding a fan encounter in the foyer of the corridor by having Richie intercept and pretend he was meeting Justin, he soon found himself back in the Cardiac Unit. He hated this place. It was miserable. Everyone here had heart problems, and heart problems were fucking awful. Not just for the patient, but for the people who loved them. There was nothing not-scary about heart problems. He had to brace himself out in the corridor to go in, trying to prepare himself for bad news. When he got there, Uncle Sam was sitting with his dad and they were chatting. This time, his dad was awake, but regardless, Justin hesitated at the door.
Mark smiled seeing his kid. "Hey, son. How are you feeling, kiddo? I've missed you." He held his hand out for Justin to come give him a hug and sit near him. He had still been out of it when his parents had come to take Justin home to bed. According to Sam, Justin had stayed with him and slept on the bed with him for a few hours when the Valium knocked him out, but his mum, being a typical fussing grandmother, wanted Justin home in his bed to sleep it off. She had left Mark in the capable hands of Sam and the doctors. Also James, Alec, and Kade, who were sticking by if anyone needed anything. They all understood the juggling with Justin. The only way you could help him was to take each day at a time, often only each hour at a time.
Justin came in at the invitation. He gave his dad a hug that lingered when he couldn't stop himself clinging. In the hug, he inevitably got teary, and stayed there while he fought the urge to cry off. When the hug was released, he was sniffling and sat down in the side of the bed next to his dad. "So, what are you going to tell me? I know something's wrong. I know people don't just have things go numb on them for no reason. I saw in the notes when Uncle Sam showed me there had a neurological assessment." He looked at his uncle sitting beside the bed. There was a hint of a Look there. Justin was still smarting from being triggered how he was. All he wanted was to be kept involved, especially with his dad's health.
Sam immediately felt the guilt again, not to mention sheepish at the look his nephew was nailing him with. "I don't have enough words to apologise, mate. I don't want to make excuses, but I was panicking myself, because I feel what your dad was feeling. I made a wrong move in a split second of dumb, because with the heart, rapid-response can often be the difference between life or death. I know I sound like a doctor, and you need me to be your uncle way more. I'm so sorry. From here on, you're with your dad all the way. Just like he wants and needs, that's why I called you."
Justin listened and soon nodded. "Okay," he murmured and wet his lips. "Thanks. And I'm, um... I'm sorry I lost my shit. Like, I couldn't help it, but I feel like shit about it. What's going on? Has Dad got something bad?"' Fuck, did he not want to ask questions like that, but he couldn't stop it. He needed to know. Not knowing was the worst.
"You can't help it, kiddo," Mark told his son softly, rubbing his back now he was close enough. Even if he was ill, Mark being a dad didn't stop. He wanted to soothe his son, protect him, take care of him, reassure him. As soon as he woke early that morning, he had wanted to go straight home to see Justin, and had a valid fear Justin self-harmed again. He could relax when Sam told him Justin had gone home to bed, and on last look by their mum, was sound asleep with Sasha. "Your Uncle Sam wants to explain this stuff to you, so you're up to speed..."
Sam nodded and sat forward. He hadn't realised how quickly Justin skimmed that page of medical notes, or he would have tried to elaborate at the time. He had just been focused on trying to reassure him Mark hadn't had a heart attack, a stroke, or had something horrific like cancer. Because in the state he had been, Justin didn't have the ability to rationalise and would have seen it all at its worst. "The pins and needles and numbness are the part that needs to be looked into further. Sometimes, it can happen with heart problems, but usually in the arm or face, not down the side, into the legs like your dad said he was having. In saying that, panic can also cause it. But it's not something we can just ignore. And your dad has said now that he thinks he might have had more of it before he was sick the other night."
Mark hated the horrified look of fear Justin was suddenly giving him. He knew he had to respond quickly, and smartly. "Not severe, buddy. Nothing like that. Just my foot going to sleep at the desk at work, or legs feeling uncomfortable after I've been sitting too long. I didn't think anything of it, because I spent a lot of time on my arse. But considering everything else that happened quickly, I think it's best to just take a look at everything, just to be on the same side."
"That's what was happening to Uncle Paris," Justin said, and his words were choked up because he was starting to get scared here. "He said it. He told me. His legs went numb before he passed out in London."
"It's not a tumour, mate," Uncle Sam reassured him. "That's been ruled out with a CT scan."
Justin shook his head. "No, but he nearly slipped something else was wrong one time. He never said what, and just pushed it aside when I asked him, and said he just meant the tumour. What if it's something really bad? What if it can't be treated?"
Mark took his son's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Look at me, kiddo," he urged. He knew the warning signs with Justin all-too well, and when he started to speak quickly, it was one of the more common ones to notice. "How about we let them do whatever tests they need for anything any of this might mean? Then when we get all the results, we'll worry more then. Until then, you're just going to make yourself sick and upset. And you've been doing so well in your recovery."
"Can I be here for the tests? Can I stay with Dad?" Justin asked, looking at his uncle. "I can pass up the matinee show. I'll just go tonight. I want to be here."
Sam nodded and stood up to give Justin a kiss on the head, and ruffled his hair. "Of course you can. I'll go and get the ball rolling. But there's going to be one test that's really not nice, buddy. We want to a do a lumbar puncture. It's a big nasty needle into the spine."
Mark watched Justin for his reaction. Right before his kid arrived, Mark had been cussing up a storm about it, bitching that all this was dumb, and they weren't going to find anything. It was just a virus, he had work to do, blah, blah, blah. Basically everything Justin would probably punch him in the face for if he heard it himself. The biggest thing was worried about was if they found something that was treatable, but not curable. Something he might have for the rest of his life, something that might impede on his ability to be his son's carer. It made him feel ill to think about.
"I'm staying," Justin resolved without an iota of hesitation, even if his voice was shaky. He couldn't stop being emotional, but he could still be strong with it.
And that's what happened. Justin called Caden and apologised, and Caden told him to take as long as he needed. The only time Justin wasn't at his dad's side was when he was in having an MRI and had to wait in the small observation area with the radiographers. He was there for everything else, and stayed close holding his dad's hand when he had the lumbar puncture. It made him feel a bit sick in the stomach with what was happening, but he stuck it out... and then it was just a waiting game.
LOG, COMPLETE