"All that meat and no potatoes."

[everythingdesigner]

Who: Tristan Hewitt and Caden Drake
What: Juggling act
Where: Tristan's home, Fifth Avenue
When: Monday morning

Tristan felt like he didn't have enough hours in the day right now. Usually, he didn't mind Mondays, and usually he was an easy early riser because he did yoga every morning before work. That wasn't a fitness regime for him, that was about inner peace, and that was just part of his life, and also his chosen spirituality. His schedule for this week was absolutely nuts, so he had planned to wake up at 4.30am to get a head-start. Not only did he have a crazy work schedule, but he and Caden had clearly had a moment of nuts when they decided to invite their families to their place for Thanksgiving dinner that week. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, and it was a huge step in their relationship, bringing their families together.

Now, up at the fucking crack of dawn, standing in the kitchen in his pyjama pants and looking at the growing shopping list, he was wondering what the fuck he had gotten them into. For one, this had been planned before Paris fell seriously sick, and ultimately diagnosed with a brain tumour. It was also before Gen had to fly to Australia urgently. Tristan was left completely holding the reigns at FABULOUS and even if he didn't like to fold at any challenge, he was feeling exhausted and bewildered staring at his shopping list. He wasn't even usually a coffee drinker, but a half-spent cup was sitting on the counter by his iPad. It wasn't even touching how tired he felt that morning, and he was struggling to find much to be thankful about that week.

Comments

[deepinmysoul]

Mondays and Tuesdays were Caden's weekend, after the busy Saturdays and Sundays on Broadway. He liked to have a sleep in, if he could swing it. Of course, in his business, with a lot of business meetings, it wasn't always possible. When he rolled over in bed and found Tristan's side empty, and cold, he had looked around blearily in confusion. Caden visited the bathroom, after not finding his partner there either. Tristan was always an early riser, but this was earlier than usual. Especially since Caden had been staying at Tristan's apartment and getting his own ready to put up for rent. So far, it had worked out amazingly, and Tristan usually stayed back in bed a bit longer on a Monday and a Tuesday to have a cuddle before he did his yoga.

Barefoot, in his silk robe, Caden wandered into this kitchen, squinting in the bright light. Tristan was one of those people who couldn't sleep if there were any lights in the room, so he had double-thick curtains and blinds in the bedroom. It was like coming out into a game stadium entering the kitchen. He came up behind Tristan and wrapped his arms around his waist. "You okay? It's early. What are you up to?" He picked up the iPad to see the screen.

[everythingdesigner]

"Trying to get Thanksgiving stuff organised before I go to work, because I have meetings back to back for the next two days, and tonight is the only chance I'll get to do the grocery shopping," Tristan mumbled, cussing when he accidentally crossed something important off his shopping list when he tapped the wrong thing. For some reason, this most simple of things was beginning to really overwhelm him. Maybe he hadn't had enough sleep, or maybe he was just feeling stressed. Quite possibly both. He pushed the iPad away and rubbed his forehead. "I'm not really feeling too well. Probably not helping trying to make lists full of indulgent food after indulgent food."

He rubbed Caden's arm, and let himself bask in how nice it felt to be cuddled like this. They had been dating a short while now, but enough to know they were working in the right direction of a serious commitment. They didn't have much time together, due to the demands of their careers, which is why they had talked it out and Caden decided to rent his own apartment out and move in here to see how it panned out. It had been amazing, and that morning, it was nice to have Caden distract him from the stress. "You shouldn't be up, it's way too early for your day off."

[deepinmysoul]

Caden put his hand gently to Tristan's forehead and then the backs of his fingers to his cheek, checking for any sign of a fever. It was hard to know for sure because they had the heating set to come on before they woke so no one had to freeze their nuts off getting into the shower. Though, Tristan's luxury bathroom with the heated tiles, lights and towel racks definitely helped that. Tristan felt the cold more than Caden did. He was the one in the relationship who would put his cold feet on Caden's legs if the electric blanket wasn't switched on to pre-warm the bed. "Do you think you're coming down with something, love?" he asked in concern.

Though, as he looked from Tristan, back to the iPad, seeing the incredible list he already had there, and still wasn't finished, something else dawned on him. "Is thinking about all this food bothering you? Not to make any assumptions or anything, I know you're in recovery and have been a long time. Do you usually do Thanksgiving to this extent? We can order catering if it's easier. It truly makes no difference to me. I apologise if that's somewhat offensive to your traditions. Tell me to shut up at any point, I won't be upset. But you have so much on your plate right now... pardon the pun. You're effectively doing three jobs, and trying to hold the schedule of all of them." He coaxed Tristan to turn in the embrace and ran his hands up and down his torso. "You can talk to me."

[everythingdesigner]

What Caden was saying took Tristan by surprise, because it hadn't even been on his radar. He had been in recovery for a long time, and was mostly really good at keeping a check on his diet. Not dieting. For someone who had an eating disorder, it was just as hard to eat properly as it was for someone trying to lose weight. He sort of felt like he could be coming down with something, but that would be no surprise if he was run down from overworking himself... and not eating properly. He didn't really feel feverish, but he felt tired and a bit achy all over. Only now the subject was on the table out of the blue did he realise he didn't have an appetite, and he realised he couldn't even remember the last proper meal he had eaten. That was worrying, to say the least. There had been a lot of coffee, but skinny lattes with no sugar.

"I haven't been home for Thanksgiving since my pre-modelling days. It's the Pre-Fall Season period, so I'm generally overseas. This is the first real family holiday meal I've hosted. Don't get me wrong, it's not like my family don't celebrate it. They very much do, but my workaholic nature got in the way. And for obvious reasons, I never mourned the loss sitting down to a large meal in front of people when I was ill..." There was a troubled frown taking residence on his face. "Oh, fuck, maybe you're right. Suddenly I'm doubting myself. Food has been the last thing on my mind since Paris fell ill."

[deepinmysoul]

Caden pressed the button to send Tristan's iPad screen into blackness. "We are going to go back to bed, and you're going to call in sick to work. And if you don't, I may have to barricade you in the bedroom, and I'm not opposed to using handcuffs. I understand that Paris is ill and Gen is having issues with her marriage and Justin, but you can't do both their jobs for them. For the last two weeks, I have fallen asleep before you, and you're usually one of the most peaceful sleepers I have ever met." He was going in easy here, because he could see Tristan was off here, and he didn't want him to think he couldn't handle this. He also wanted to kill two birds with one stone and get Tristan to rest.

"Leave the grocery shopping to me. I can call in a few favours from Brendan. He offered to help, and I'm allowed to objectify my nephew. Or we can order catering. Let's just set the issue of food aside and go back to bed." He didn't push, though. He wasn't going to tell Tristan what to do here, but he wanted him to know he was there for him. "Have you been eating at all? We haven't had a meal together in a week because you've been so busy. You cancelled out on our dinner plans three times."

[everythingdesigner]

"Shit, no. I can't take a sick day. I've got too much to do, and the time between now and Christmas is rapidly dwindling, and the to-do list is rapidly growing, and I have no idea how they expect me to just keep my head above water with all of this. I don't mind stepping in when either of them are away, but both at once? Then if I fuck anything up, it'll be my fault. This is not the job I signed up for, and I had no notice whatsoever." Tristan didn't even realise any of this was bothering him to this level because he had been working like a machine to try to get everything done, and effectively do the jobs of three people. Now all of a sudden with Caden exposing his vulnerability, everything was bubbling up to the forefront.

He stopped and held up both his hands, trying to regain his composure. "You know what? Fuck it. I'm calling in sick, and I'm not giving a reason. I swore to myself I would never in my life stop looking after myself like this again, and it's gone and happened. I didn't even realise. And us. When we started this thing, we promised each other we would make time for our relationship, because it was important with the schedules we have. You've been upholding your end of the bargain, and I've been letting you down left, right and centre. I'm not willing to do my relationship in halves when it is the best thing to have happened to me in a very long time, and I'm not willing to do my health in half for anyone." He stopped, putting a hand to his forehead. "Shit, I'm dizzy."

[deepinmysoul]

Tristan actually stumbled like he had lost his footing and was about to pass out. Caden caught him so he didn't fall, and his concern reached a fever-pitch. "It's okay, baby. It's okay, come sit for a minute," he murmured, getting Tristan over to one of the stools at the breakfast bar so he could get the weight off his feet. This was extremely worrying, and Caden wasn't quite sure how best to go about it. He didn't want to anger Tristan for him overreacting, or even meddling. Something wasn't right, though. Tristan had turned an awful grey colour in his face and Caden was concerned now that this not eating thing was worse than Tristan was scratching the surface with here.

Once Tristan was at least sitting, Caden hurried over to the sink to get him a glass of water to sip on. Even as he moved away, he saw Tristan slump over onto the counter top with his head dropping onto his arm. Caden abandoned the glass of water and was back to Tristan's side in a flash. "Tristan? Come on, baby, wake up!" he urged his partner, tapping him softly on the cheek. Tristan had passed out and just when Caden thought he should be calling 911, Tristan's eyes opened again. "Hey... sweetheart, you just passed out. Can you hear me okay?"

[everythingdesigner]

The room felt like it was spinning when Tristan came-to and he went to lift his head. That wasn't a good idea. He was woozy, and it had been a hell of a long time since he had any sort of spell like this. Though, back then, he was having them frequently because he had been taking in no healthy sustenance to fuel his crazy modelling schedule. One moment, he had just felt a bit dizzy, next he was here slumped at the kitchen counter with Caden close by him, panicking. "I think I need to lie down," he mumbled, trying to work through the fog in his head. Whatever his ind had been on a few minutes before with work and Thanksgiving and generally feeling overwhelmed was gone. He couldn't think of anything worst right now than seeing a turkey stew in its juices and taking pride and place on a dining table in front of him. The thought was making him want to gag.

"I'm okay. I think you're right, I need to get a bit more sleep." He attempted to stand, but his legs felt like jelly and he was still dizzy. He knew this. He knew this feeling all too well. It was running on empty. Suddenly, he had no recollection of anything he had eaten this past week. Had he eaten much at all? He had been meeting-hopping, schmoozing, making deals, taking conference calls, talking with designers, trying to keep his finger on every pulse but his own. Was it coffee and sheer willpower that had been all he was firing on?

[deepinmysoul]

"I am going to emphatically second the lying down and sleep idea," Caden agreed, though he wasn't sure if it was a good idea to get Tristan moving. "I'm going to help you get there, and no, we're not taking your iPad. If I can get you there without protest, then you're going to rest like you clearly need to." He didn't want the conversation to be over, because he needed Tristan to try to keep the dialogue going here otherwise it could just get worse. Caden had dealt with a lot in his life, but this was new. He would do whatever Tristan needed for help, he would just be less nervy that he would pass out again if he was horizontal in bed. Caden was already wondering if he could call Ajay up and ask him for some advice, but the best option was to actually get the information from Tristan.

They didn't get to the bedroom in a rush. Tristan was doing better than he had been a few minutes ago, but he looked like he could sleep for a week. Or a month. Caden held him securely around the waist and when they got to the bedroom, he pulled the covers back and helped Tristan back into bed. Then he got in beside him and wrapped his arms around him in a hug, giving him a soft kiss. "I'm worried about you. This is uncharted waters for me. I don't want to step on your toes, or piss you off for sticking my nose in if you don't want me there. Can I help with this? Just guide me, I'm here for you."

[everythingdesigner]

Tristan wasn't expecting to feel the relief he did climbing back into bed and feeling the warm covers wrap around him again. He felt like maybe he was coming down with a flu, but that wasn't the only reason he found himself suddenly feeling poorly. Then Caden was climbing back into bed with him, and cuddling up with him. That was the best part of all. Tristan hadn't come this close to committing to anyone before. He had sort of hovered in the maybe realm a few times, but his career had gotten in the way, or more recently, he didn't want to take anything further if he didn't feel a more spiritual connection to them. He did believe in soul mates, and hoped one day he had a shot at finding his own. He was starting to feel that Caden might just be the one. Moments like these, he believed it even more. Caden was so caring and tender. He had always been softly spoken and classy. They seemed to cross each other's path at the right time. Now stress was just getting in the way.

He settled into a comfortable spot and let his eyes fall closed, basking in the cosiness of Caden's arms. "I don't push you away or block you out. I did plenty of that when I first fell ill, and went it alone. I didn't intend to let myself fall back into these terrible habits so easily, but I'm weak and woozy, and I can't remember the last proper meal I've had. It's been one thing after another, trying to keep things going at work. I wanted to help out the best I can, so they didn't have to worry. You're not stepping on my toes, babe. I probably need to address this before it gets out of hand. I feel wiped out, though. There's not enough hours in the day."

[deepinmysoul]

"With all due respect to Mark and Gen, Gen needs to find a way to balance her business' obligations with her private life now that her brother has fallen ill. It is still her company, and no matter how difficult her life is, she needs strategies to handle that that aren't just dropping everything in your lap and running. That's not fair, and look where it has gotten to." Caden understood that perhaps Tristan had stepped up into either Gen or Paris' place in their absences in the past. Both at the same time, however? That wasn't fair. He didn't know if Tristan would ultimately speak up and say anything, because Paris did have cancer. It was a difficult situation, but Caden didn't want the person he loved ill and weak because of this. It was his job to care for Tristan.

"You are wiped out, love. You should see yourself. You're so pale. You look ill. I'm worried about you," he murmured, kissing Tristan's forehead. "Do you think you need to see a doctor? There's always a chance you're not well and it's affected your appetite. I don't want you feeling like every time you don't eat, you're relapsing. But if you think you might have without realising, do you need to talk to someone? I can come with you to anything you need. If you want me to. If you don't, I understand."