"Honestly, I haven't really let my brain get to the point of reasoning any of the feelings out. I wanted to tell you first. Part of me feels like I shouldn't have an issue with it, because they told me this would happen. I was too young to give a fuck about freezing sperm. I was alone, and terrified. I had friends, but I had no one to give me advice on things like that. You don't sit down with a bunch of lads when you're nineteen and discuss the chances of having breast cancer and freezing sperm. I went years without even thinking about any of it. Even after I met you, you had Holly, and that was the first I really began to think about having my own family. Now it's all there on our plates, and I kind of just feel like I'm grieving for something I never had the chance to have. Does that even make sense?" Lewis asked, bewildered. Now that he and Lorenzo were alone, he knew he could finally open up on how he was feeling, with the one person he trusted with his life.

He nodded. "I know, and truly the only reason I just got it done was because of everything that went down with Mitchell. You gave him a bit of time off when his brother showed up, so I just got the business side of it out of the way. I was on autopilot with it, just going through the motions." He smirked and brushed his fingers through Lorenzo's hair and leaned close to steal another kiss. "I didn't need porn, I had your nude dick pics on my phone, and that video we made together that night."