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[soldiersheart]

I've seen a lot of horrible things in my life, but this is the worst.

Comments

[justalittlecrush]

I'm just tired, Marty. Spent the whole night on the bathroom floor with Paris.

[soldiersheart]

The sick's started, huh? Did you get any rest?

[justalittlecrush]

It started during the infusion yesterday. He had a bit of breakfast, we thought he was going okay, but then not so much. Not last night, but I'm resting with him now.

[soldiersheart]

Is he getting any sleep? I'm going to guess if you're here answering, you're not.

[justalittlecrush]

Only if they can give him something to stop him being sick. Then he crashes hard. He's sleeping now. I try, but my brain won't switch off. There's more going on here than just the cancer.

[soldiersheart]

Are they? You should try to sleep when he is. What? What more? What can be more than cancer?

private messages

[justalittlecrush]

As much as they can. It's not foolproof. Not more as in worse. More as in other stuff. Look up Tumefactive MS.

[soldiersheart]

Shit. They think he has this?

[justalittlecrush]

He does have it. He just doesn't want anyone to know.

[soldiersheart]

Fuck. When did he find out? Or has it been for awhile? Did it cause the cancer?

[justalittlecrush]

A few days ago, but it might have been there awhile. No, it didn't cause, nor the other way around. The cancer probably just made it worse.

[soldiersheart]

Did he have symptoms before? I thought he only started to get sick recently. Shit, how did they find out?

[justalittlecrush]

He's been having headaches and fatigue for months. We just assumed it was stress. I mean, who doesn't get that sometimes? Only recently, the headaches changed. That was how he knew something was wrong.

[soldiersheart]

Fucking hell. What does this mean for him now?

[justalittlecrush]

It means the chemo is probably going to be a rough road, but he's bracing himself for it. He said it's better he knows, but he hasn't said much else.

[soldiersheart]

So, it might make it tougher to get through? Like, more sick? Coming out of the blue, he probably doesn't know what to say about it.

[justalittlecrush]

It will. It already is. It's affecting his balance and his vision. Tara said the tumour was pressure against these lesions. It's why he blacked out at the party. He doesn't. And his mom died from cancer too. He's scared and missing her.

[soldiersheart]

Mikey, are you going to be okay? I know all you want to do is take care of him, but I'm worried about you both. He'll be worrying about you too.

[justalittlecrush]

Yes. I might not always be alright, but I will get through this okay. He is worried, I know, but I'm going to try to do the best to take care of myself. He needs to come first, though because he can't go any of this alone.

[soldiersheart]

I'm proud of you, Mikey. You always had the biggest heart.