[TEXT MESSAGE] to Justin @likefatherlikeson

[bemydownfall]

Hey, Justin... I hope you don't mind but I got your number from Zoran's phone. I'm his boyfriend, Caleb. I was just wondering if maybe you could tell me how I could get involved in some of the charity work you do? Specifically with charities for kids from abusive homes. In the spirit of holiday giving, I'd kind of like to make a sizable donation, but also help in any way I can.

Comments

[bemydownfall]

It's okay. I can understand that. I wouldn't want my whole past on display, either. But I'm sure that there are a lot of abuse survivors who get help from those organizations. Ultimately, I just want to help young people who are having a hard time. I know abuse is a huge part of that, but so are things like mental illness and being afraid to come out.

[likefatherlikeson]

This part of it has pretty much really fucked me up in bad ways. I think when you do something like this, you need to really pick and choose what you share with people. It took me a really long time to tell anyone about it. A lot of people don't know how to talk about what they've been through. Yeah, I was afraid too. I tried, then people hurt me, so I just did whatever it took to make people stop thinking I was gay.

[bemydownfall]

I think that makes a lot of sense. You can't put your whole life out there. Not everyone is as understanding as the people who love you. And sometimes, even they don't really get it. I get that. My situation was a little different, but I pretended to be straight because I thought it was protecting Zoran. It wasn't. It was just hurting him more.

[likefatherlikeson]

Abuse is such a... I don't even know. Complex or complicated doesn't cover it. It's just a mess, really. It damages you. It leaves scars. No one should need balls to be gay. I know that's a contradiction, but gay people have to fight more. Every gay person has fought for something to get to where they are.

[bemydownfall]

It is. It breaks people in ways that can never totally be fixed, and they're not at fault for it, but they can't just "get over it" either. You're right about that. It's fucked up that we live in a world where people have to fight to be who they are.

[likefatherlikeson]

Nope. I mean, if it was that easy, I wouldn't be mentally ill. This is why I don't really make a big deal out of the fact I'm gay. I just am. Everyone knows I am, but that's not what I want anyone to focus on. There's plenty of LGBT+ support and campaigns out there. I think there's a louder message that people to need to hear. Being gay is hard for some, but being mentally ill or an abuse survivor is suffering and pain.

[bemydownfall]

Definitely. I think people fail to realize that a lot of the time. That's kind of why it matters so much to me to get involved and do something that matters. Something that can help people who are hurting.

[likefatherlikeson]

There's 3 things in this world guaranteed to get people to stop and want to contribute to. LGBT+ equality, domestic violence and cancer. Everything else has a way of becoming white noise because no one really understands it. Unless someone stands up and pushes it to the forefront. That's what I want to do.

[bemydownfall]

That's true. There will always be support for those things, but for things like mental illness that there's still so much stigma around, it would make sense that it would be harder to get people to help with that. I'm glad to help, though. Tell me how I can get involved with what you're doing?

[likefatherlikeson]

With what I'm doing, or with what the charity is doing? I just work for them. A little. I'm only allowed to work so many hours a week.

[bemydownfall]

I guess kind of a little of both. I want to help the charity itself... get involved and make a difference. But I know you do fundraising stuff, too, and I thought maybe I could help with that, too.

[likefatherlikeson]

Fundraising is part of it. The other part is sort of campaigning and promoting. I talk about my experiences... censored, of course... and go to events and stuff. Sometimes I just need to stand there and it's apparently helping. There's always something to do with a charity. It can just be confronting for some people. It was confronting for me when I first started, I was terrified. I didn't know how I could help anyone else when I was still so fucked up myself. Even now, I still have fucked up days. People tell me I look different, but obviously I can't really see myself.

[bemydownfall]

I know it can't be easy to bring up the rough things you've gone through, but it probably does a lot to help people like you who think they're alone.

[likefatherlikeson]

I don't really need it to help a lot of people. Even just one or two, and it's worth it.

[bemydownfall]

That makes a lot of sense. Are you doing any fundraisers or events over the holidays?

[likefatherlikeson]

One of the biggest of the year. I'm doing the celebrity New York Christmas concert. That big one they put on TV. I did it last year before I even started working. This year, I'm opening it with a flash mob and closing it with a solo song.

[bemydownfall]

So would it work better for me to make a donation through the concert, or just directly to the charity? Sorry. I'm kind of new to this.

[likefatherlikeson]

All the donations at the concert get distributed equally through all the charities registered as recipients by the performers. If you wanted to make a direct donation, you can talk to Presley. He's one of the nicest guys I know. No donations actually touch my hands. It's all channelled by the powers that be.

[bemydownfall]

I could definitely do that. It sounds like a really important charity to me. Do you think you could give me Presley's contact information?

[likefatherlikeson]

He's got a Facebook, or he has a website with all his information too. His name's Presley Monroe.

[bemydownfall]

Cool. I'll send him a message. Thank you for all the info. And I'll probably be watching the concert with Zoran, too. I'm looking forward to it.

[likefatherlikeson]

It's okay. I kind of owe him my life. Like, literally.

[bemydownfall]

He sounds like a pretty spectacular guy, and his charity definitely sounds really important. How do you owe him your life? I mean, if I can ask that without being rude.

[likefatherlikeson]

His mom was bipolar. She jumped out of a high rise window and killed herself. He understands the pain. Zoran? Well, I'm a pretty messed up person. I used to have problems with drugs and drinking because I was fucked up. I sort of got lured to a rave party where Zoran and his band were playing. Had my drink spiked and stuff and it kind of triggered a psychotic thing. Zoran intercepted and got me away from it, then had the cops called so I wasn't pinned for possession or dealing. If he hadn't been there, I probably would've jumped off a balcony or walked in front of a bus or something. I'm kind of a pain in the ass to be around when I'm sick.

[bemydownfall]

Wow. That's intense. And had to have been really awful for him to go through. Oh, you meant Zoran saved your life? I didn't know that. I'm glad he was there. I don't get why people do shit like spike drinks. You never know what can happen. I'm really glad he was able to help you. He's pretty amazing.

[likefatherlikeson]

Intense is one word for it, I guess. Yeah, he did. At the very least, he saved me from being arrested and thrown in prison or locked up in a closed ward. I don't remember what happened, but that's what they told me.

[bemydownfall]

Intense and fucking awful. He's a really special person, and I'm glad he was there to keep you from getting locked away. How long have you known him?

[likefatherlikeson]

I don't. He did it without even knowing me. He just knew of me. He plays at my boyfriend's brother's bar, so Will knows him, but I never did.

[bemydownfall]

I'm sorry. I just assumed he knew you because he had your number. He must've gotten it from Will to check on you.

[likefatherlikeson]

My dad got his number off him that night I was sick so I could send him a thank you when I was feeling better. I know it's really crap when people have to deal with me like that, so I need to thank them. Maybe he just added it to his contacts then.