The humor was quickly changed over for serious conversation, and Jeff had known that was coming. If they sat here and joked all night, they wouldn’t solve anything, or help to find a solution to any of the problems that were coming between them. Jeff wasn’t deluded to think that wasn’t important. If they just started back on a joking banter, it wasn’t going to bring them to a better understanding, and even if they did end up pursuing anything further after the fact, it would only turn up with problems all over again when the original issues weren’t worked through in the end. Jeff knew that glossing over issues wasn’t the way to deal with them, and ultimately, it wouldn’t lead anywhere but to more heartache. He’d hurt Nick already. That wasn’t something he wanted to get into the habit of. He wanted to be someone that Nick felt safe with… Someone who made him feel cared for. It wasn’t fair to keep trying to make this work if he was only going to continue to cause Nick more pain and heartache, and he flatly refused to do it, no matter what. If, at the end of this conversation, it came to the point that he knew he wasn’t going to be able to be what Nick needed, that would be it. He would walk away, because hurting him again wasn’t acceptable to Jeff.
“Age is nothing. Talent and hard work are everything. But it still says a lot that, at his age, he’s already put in the time, effort, and hard work to be good enough that Joffrey is calling him in for an audition. I’ve been a dancer most of my life, but ballet is above and beyond the level of anything I do. It takes a whole different level of work, dedication, and precision.” He was duly impressed with Harry as a young person in general, and with his skill as a dancer to be at the level of a Joffrey audition, even though he hadn’t actually seen him dance yet. But the main purpose for being here was talking about the two of them, not about Harry as a dancer. “I know why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling. And I know that I’m totally responsible for how this went down. I take responsibility for it. I know that relationships don’t progress if you don’t pour into them. And I want to pour into this. I know that it doesn’t matter what I want right now, because I haven’t been anything like what I should’ve been. But if you’re willing to take one more step to me to see if there are any feelings left, I won’t let you down. And if the feelings aren’t there, I’ll walk away.”
no subject
“Age is nothing. Talent and hard work are everything. But it still says a lot that, at his age, he’s already put in the time, effort, and hard work to be good enough that Joffrey is calling him in for an audition. I’ve been a dancer most of my life, but ballet is above and beyond the level of anything I do. It takes a whole different level of work, dedication, and precision.” He was duly impressed with Harry as a young person in general, and with his skill as a dancer to be at the level of a Joffrey audition, even though he hadn’t actually seen him dance yet. But the main purpose for being here was talking about the two of them, not about Harry as a dancer. “I know why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling. And I know that I’m totally responsible for how this went down. I take responsibility for it. I know that relationships don’t progress if you don’t pour into them. And I want to pour into this. I know that it doesn’t matter what I want right now, because I haven’t been anything like what I should’ve been. But if you’re willing to take one more step to me to see if there are any feelings left, I won’t let you down. And if the feelings aren’t there, I’ll walk away.”