[ FACEBOOK ]

[3forthepriceof1]

When one of your kids passes out twice in an hour, you have to resist the urge to call paramedics, SWAT and possibly the military for back up to make sure they're okay.

Comments

[aussielawyer]

Hey, what's going on, hon? What kid?

[livingforlife]

Zoran?

[3forthepriceof1]

Zoran. My god, it's a really long story. I don't even know all of it.

[3forthepriceof1]

I wish it wasn't.

[aussielawyer]

Um, Zoran?

[3forthepriceof1]

Zed's real name is Zoran. When he came to us, it was Witness Protection. They made him change his name and his whole identity. Now he's going through some really awful traumas. He's not doing well.

[livingforlife]

Oh, Heather. Are you guys still in his hometown?

[aussielawyer]

Fuck. Are you okay? Is there anything I can do for any of you?

[3forthepriceof1]

No. He passed out once on the plane, and the second time was when we got in the door back home. He wanted to come home. He wants to have the funeral here. He just keeps saying it's his fault, his dad's death is his fault.

[3forthepriceof1]

No. I'm not. You understand, when your kid is hurting beyond hell in ways you can't help them. We just need to get through this somehow. It's hard without all the information.

[aussielawyer]

I do know. I know how much it hurts. Is he sick or just traumatised? I know the moment Justin becomes emotionally taxed, it's a very rapid domino effect.

[livingforlife]

Do you want me to come and check on him? How on earth is it his fault? The poor kid.

[3forthepriceof1]

He's both. He's stressed, and the HIV news is looming. His biological father was murdered.

[3forthepriceof1]

If you think that's a good idea. He's asleep, but he seems pretty crashed out. He's cut his hand, I think it needs cleaning and dressing.

[livingforlife]

I can come and tend to the cut for now and stick around in case he wakes up?

[3forthepriceof1]

It's taking all my strength not to invade his privacy and read that note.

[livingforlife]

From a mom perspective, I'm pretty sure I'd be right in the same place as you are.

[aussielawyer]

It's not easy, Heather. When you don't have the answers, you feel completely helpless and you feel like you're making it worse for them because you can't help them. It's your job as a parent to, but you can't. Is he getting counselling?

[3forthepriceof1]

How do you do it? How do you survive? Heart issues aside. I know it's not as black and white as that. He's been having therapy since he came to us. Talking about things is part of the problem at the moment. He said he's reliving everything.

[3forthepriceof1]

I can't do that. I can't sacrifice his trust. He's been talking about things, but in his own time.

[livingforlife]

I know. And you never would do that to him. I'm just glad he's opening up, even if it's only little by little.

[aussielawyer]

Some days, I don't really think I do. There's no real formula. No matter what you do, it's still painful as all shit to see them hurting. And that's okay. It took Justin many, many months to begin to open up to me about the hardest things he had been through. Even then, I know I don't know it all. But you realise you don't need to.

[3forthepriceof1]

Did it keep coming like a hard blow every time he revealed something? I have to keep remembering he's an adult, but he's also a very vulnerable one right now, and weak. It's still okay for me to be his mom, right? Would he tell me if he didn't want me to be?

[3forthepriceof1]

Do you ever worry you're over-momming? I've got him staying with us, and I got Caleb to come up here too. Just while he's ill so they don't have to worry about things like cooking or cleaning. If anything happens, we're right there.

[aussielawyer]

Every single time. Maybe he is an adult, but even adults still need their parents. I still need mine. The only time my kid has ever told me to fuck off out of his face was when he was psychotic. We're the ones who are supposed to just know they need us without them needing to ask. Does it feel like he doesn't need you?