Zed shrugged. "About that, I guess. I don't know, I was unconscious for part of it. They just gave me the letter and told me to go to a hospital when I got back here because I didn't want the treatment there. I shouldn't have even been there in the first place, but I got into an emotional wreck and it felt like running away was the only answer when I panicked. I cut my hand pretty bad, so I was bleeding but I... I don't even know how the hooker came into the equation. I was too trashed, I don't remember. Just woke up in the ER and she was with me waiting for payment. I thought maybe she just blew me or something. Who knows, maybe she took me to an orgy and I screwed a pile of guys too. I just... don't know. And I hate myself for the whole fucking mess because I haven't gotten trashed like that in ages. Maybe forever. I usually have a cut-off point because..." Because it was always terrifying to him to think he might be like his father. Maybe that's where his intoxicated and irrational mind went... if he couldn't beat them, join them.

He shook his head at himself, because hearing it out loud, he just felt so incredibly stupid. "But it's happened, and no one tied me down and poured the shit down my throat, so either way, I've got to just deal with it. Yeah, it's nothing like it is in the movies. I didn't just go all Clark Kent and put glasses on and no one recognises who I am. No movies show that turning into someone completely different leaves you an emotional wreck or what it feels like to be completely alone where you have nothing or no one but strangers. I saw my father brutally murder a woman. He saw me when I saw him. He was a severe alcoholic, very violent when he drunk. He used to beat the shit out of me for being gay. I grew up in the South. How I speak now, it's all an act. I had to learn to talk without an accent."