Dr. Nathan Mitchell (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dontcomebackforme) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dreamlikenewyork2013-06-13 10:28 pm
dontcomebackforme) wrote in dreamlikenewyork2013-06-13 10:28 pm
"Once upon a time, I was falling in love but now I'm only falling apart."
Who: Nathan Mitchell and Tyler Peterson
What: "Every now and then I fall apart, and I need you now tonight."
Where: ICU, Mount Sinai
When: Two days after Kyle shows up
It took Tyler three days for his mood to stabilise once they ceased the sedatives. He had been so low, so uncooperative and deaf to any sort of reasoning that he had been restrained in an isolated room that was devoid of anything that he may use to hurt himself. Despite the fact people probably assume he should be used to intervention like this, he was actually terrified when he was rational enough in his though process to realise what was going on. It took a long time, a intricate cocktail of prescription medication to help break through the psychological instability that had come from his life finally crashing so far to rock bottom that he did not want to live. Once the medication infiltrated his system and began doing its job, he felt lost, scared, and very, very alone.
When the time seemed to tick extremely slowly by, Tyler began to more and more believe that Nate being there was a figment of his imagination. He was so messed up in the head that he didn't know what was real and what wasn't anymore. Every nurse or doctor that came near him, he started to beg them to see Nathan, but Nathan never seemed to come. No one would tell him where he was either. That was always when they hit him with more sedatives and he was knocked out all over again. Every time he woke up, it was in another foggy haze of depression and confusion, that felt like it was teetering somewhere in a grey area between reality and the fucked up world his mind had created for him. Without the roadblock and safety net of being able to shut it all off with illegal drugs and sex, Tyler didn't know who he was and he just needed something to anchor himself with. Or someone...
And that was when, after sitting there in that cold, stark room for what felt like an eternity all over again, strange face after strange face coming to 'help' him with more medication and attempt to talk him through what he was feeling (nothing... he kept telling them he felt nothing, but they didn't listen), that Nathan was standing there in the doorway of the hospital room. Up until now, Tyler had felt lost, scared, like he was drowning, stuck in a dark hole, in pain, but he had never felt dead. He wanted to. That was what he was trying to tell everyone. There was nothing more to be alive for, it was all gone. But this, right now, was when he was sure he had finally died, because Nathan was there.
Tyler was propped up the narrow bed, pillows supporting both hands to elevate them slightly after the physiotherapist had been there working his wrists to try to encourage normal functioning of the hands. Tyler had been so drugged on painkillers, he barely registered she had been there. They didn't risk letting allied professionals near him while he was completely conscious for fear he might snap and hurt them to get to a way to do himself in. He looked terrible, and Nathan had spend every moment of the past three days fighting a horrible internal battle. In his hands, there were papers to dissolve his legal responsibility to Tyler as his next of kin, but he needed to see him first. Tyler had been asking for him repeatedly, but Nathan made sure he wasn't there anytime Tyler was lucid. Instead, he came and sat with him when he was sedated or barely conscious to his surroundings, overseeing the care he was being given.
Having to cope with telling Kyle how horrible a condition Tyler had come to be in was the last of what Nathan had been able to deal with. It was jump in head first or walk away, and the last time he had jumped in head-first, he had ended up finding Tyler with his dick in another guy and shitting all over all the help Nathan had tried to give him from great heights. Despite standing here and seeing Tyler broken, pale, with red, sunken eyes, not even a shadow of his former self but looking like someone Nathan never even knew, he felt like the world was getting pulled out from under him all over again and he couldn't go into the room. Instead, he just felt woozy like he was going to pass out and turned to leave. He couldn't do this.
"Nate," Tyler spoke up, the name falling from his lips in a hoarse plea when he saw Nathan move to leave. Nathan's hand was gripped around the door jamb, and his back was to Tyler. He stopped but he didn't look back. Tyler's breath quickened in a panic when he realised that if Nathan was real and not a figment of his imagination, that he didn't want him to walk away. Not again. The last time Nathan did that, Tyler lost everything that ever mattered to him. He was the one tiny flicker of bright light in Tyler's otherwise terrifying darkness. "I-I need you... turn around."
This was the moment Nathan had been dreading. That Tyler would heal just enough that he was aware of Nathan's presence. But it was just too hard, and he was still too broken to risk laying his heart on the line for shattering all over again. With his back to him, Tyler couldn't see Nathan's tears when they started to fall and he just gave a shake of his head. "I... can't," was all he could get out before he walked out of the room without once looking back. If he turned around and looked back, he would never have been able to walk way. He stopped only to press the legal papers onto the counter of the nurses' station and could barely see the line he was scribbling his signature on at the bottom of the page through the tears. He dropped the pen down on top of the with a small choked sob, and exited the ICU wishing he could feel like a weight had lifted but only feeling like he was drowning even further.
RP LOG, SCENE COMPLETE
What: "Every now and then I fall apart, and I need you now tonight."
Where: ICU, Mount Sinai
When: Two days after Kyle shows up
It took Tyler three days for his mood to stabilise once they ceased the sedatives. He had been so low, so uncooperative and deaf to any sort of reasoning that he had been restrained in an isolated room that was devoid of anything that he may use to hurt himself. Despite the fact people probably assume he should be used to intervention like this, he was actually terrified when he was rational enough in his though process to realise what was going on. It took a long time, a intricate cocktail of prescription medication to help break through the psychological instability that had come from his life finally crashing so far to rock bottom that he did not want to live. Once the medication infiltrated his system and began doing its job, he felt lost, scared, and very, very alone.
When the time seemed to tick extremely slowly by, Tyler began to more and more believe that Nate being there was a figment of his imagination. He was so messed up in the head that he didn't know what was real and what wasn't anymore. Every nurse or doctor that came near him, he started to beg them to see Nathan, but Nathan never seemed to come. No one would tell him where he was either. That was always when they hit him with more sedatives and he was knocked out all over again. Every time he woke up, it was in another foggy haze of depression and confusion, that felt like it was teetering somewhere in a grey area between reality and the fucked up world his mind had created for him. Without the roadblock and safety net of being able to shut it all off with illegal drugs and sex, Tyler didn't know who he was and he just needed something to anchor himself with. Or someone...
And that was when, after sitting there in that cold, stark room for what felt like an eternity all over again, strange face after strange face coming to 'help' him with more medication and attempt to talk him through what he was feeling (nothing... he kept telling them he felt nothing, but they didn't listen), that Nathan was standing there in the doorway of the hospital room. Up until now, Tyler had felt lost, scared, like he was drowning, stuck in a dark hole, in pain, but he had never felt dead. He wanted to. That was what he was trying to tell everyone. There was nothing more to be alive for, it was all gone. But this, right now, was when he was sure he had finally died, because Nathan was there.
Tyler was propped up the narrow bed, pillows supporting both hands to elevate them slightly after the physiotherapist had been there working his wrists to try to encourage normal functioning of the hands. Tyler had been so drugged on painkillers, he barely registered she had been there. They didn't risk letting allied professionals near him while he was completely conscious for fear he might snap and hurt them to get to a way to do himself in. He looked terrible, and Nathan had spend every moment of the past three days fighting a horrible internal battle. In his hands, there were papers to dissolve his legal responsibility to Tyler as his next of kin, but he needed to see him first. Tyler had been asking for him repeatedly, but Nathan made sure he wasn't there anytime Tyler was lucid. Instead, he came and sat with him when he was sedated or barely conscious to his surroundings, overseeing the care he was being given.
Having to cope with telling Kyle how horrible a condition Tyler had come to be in was the last of what Nathan had been able to deal with. It was jump in head first or walk away, and the last time he had jumped in head-first, he had ended up finding Tyler with his dick in another guy and shitting all over all the help Nathan had tried to give him from great heights. Despite standing here and seeing Tyler broken, pale, with red, sunken eyes, not even a shadow of his former self but looking like someone Nathan never even knew, he felt like the world was getting pulled out from under him all over again and he couldn't go into the room. Instead, he just felt woozy like he was going to pass out and turned to leave. He couldn't do this.
"Nate," Tyler spoke up, the name falling from his lips in a hoarse plea when he saw Nathan move to leave. Nathan's hand was gripped around the door jamb, and his back was to Tyler. He stopped but he didn't look back. Tyler's breath quickened in a panic when he realised that if Nathan was real and not a figment of his imagination, that he didn't want him to walk away. Not again. The last time Nathan did that, Tyler lost everything that ever mattered to him. He was the one tiny flicker of bright light in Tyler's otherwise terrifying darkness. "I-I need you... turn around."
This was the moment Nathan had been dreading. That Tyler would heal just enough that he was aware of Nathan's presence. But it was just too hard, and he was still too broken to risk laying his heart on the line for shattering all over again. With his back to him, Tyler couldn't see Nathan's tears when they started to fall and he just gave a shake of his head. "I... can't," was all he could get out before he walked out of the room without once looking back. If he turned around and looked back, he would never have been able to walk way. He stopped only to press the legal papers onto the counter of the nurses' station and could barely see the line he was scribbling his signature on at the bottom of the page through the tears. He dropped the pen down on top of the with a small choked sob, and exited the ICU wishing he could feel like a weight had lifted but only feeling like he was drowning even further.
RP LOG, SCENE COMPLETE