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muserevival || 098.4. Drabble
Aug. 22nd, 2015 09:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aussielawyerLittle @ muserevival
Some days, Mark felt that not having his son from when he was little made being a father to him so much more painful. Having a child who was mentally ill was one thing. It was incredibly hard and it felt like your heart was ripped out by the roots seeing them in pain. But to have a child who was mentally ill and suicidal, Mark was pretty sure the only pain worse than that was actually losing a child to suicide.
They hadn’t. Not this time. But once again, they had come so close. Justin was a teenager, and veering closer to adulthood every single day, but that didn’t make it easier either. Justin had pulled through, though not unscathed. It was impossible for Mark to shake the feeling that he had failed his kid again. He promised he would protect him and care for him, but sometimes, things were just out of that grasp. Short of locking Justin up from the world, all they could do was keep trying to find a way to reduce the risks.
Mark was sitting beside Justin’s bed, rubbing his back softly while he slept. He had lost track of how long he had been there, and he was still there when Gen came in a short while later with a cup of tea for him. She had selflessly taken all this on, and as a result, Mark had fallen in love with her over and over again many times since they married. She moved up close beside him and when he rested his head against her hip, she started to stroke his hair. Maybe it was a fruitless attempt at comfort considering the circumstances, but it still meant more to Mark than he could put into words.
In fact, words didn’t come. Only silent tears when her presence felt like it okay to finally break down while Justin slept on obliviously. No matter how much you wanted to keep your shit together, sometimes it was okay to break with the one person who knew you inside and out.
muserevivalSome days, Mark felt that not having his son from when he was little made being a father to him so much more painful. Having a child who was mentally ill was one thing. It was incredibly hard and it felt like your heart was ripped out by the roots seeing them in pain. But to have a child who was mentally ill and suicidal, Mark was pretty sure the only pain worse than that was actually losing a child to suicide.
They hadn’t. Not this time. But once again, they had come so close. Justin was a teenager, and veering closer to adulthood every single day, but that didn’t make it easier either. Justin had pulled through, though not unscathed. It was impossible for Mark to shake the feeling that he had failed his kid again. He promised he would protect him and care for him, but sometimes, things were just out of that grasp. Short of locking Justin up from the world, all they could do was keep trying to find a way to reduce the risks.
Mark was sitting beside Justin’s bed, rubbing his back softly while he slept. He had lost track of how long he had been there, and he was still there when Gen came in a short while later with a cup of tea for him. She had selflessly taken all this on, and as a result, Mark had fallen in love with her over and over again many times since they married. She moved up close beside him and when he rested his head against her hip, she started to stroke his hair. Maybe it was a fruitless attempt at comfort considering the circumstances, but it still meant more to Mark than he could put into words.
In fact, words didn’t come. Only silent tears when her presence felt like it okay to finally break down while Justin slept on obliviously. No matter how much you wanted to keep your shit together, sometimes it was okay to break with the one person who knew you inside and out.