[ FACEBOOK ]

[angelwithoutwings]

I know everyone wants to help and we're really grateful for the texts, but no one but immediate family can see Beau right now. He's not doing well, and we'll keep everyone posted on any change as much as we can.

[ FACEBOOK ]

[bigbrothermojo]

Nothing can prepare you for it. Fucking nothing.

[ FACEBOOK ]

[rosetattoo]

We need a do-over. Just wind the clock back 24 hours and have none of this happen. Back to wedding plans and him telling everyone he's Daisy's favourite uncle. Can we please go back to that?

He was okay two days ago. He was okay...

[ TEXT MESSAGE ] To Beau's Family

[doctortara]

I've just spoken to Austin, he gave me the greenlight to pass this on to everyone en-masse because he doesn't think he'll remember anything to relay the information correctly. The scans and pathology I ordered on Beau have shown he has Myocarditis. It's an inflammation of the heart muscle caused by infection, and can unfortunately be a complication of chemo. It's made his heart very weak and because his current condition is very weakened, when his body tried to fight the infection, it lost the fight and his heart began to fail.

I've ordered immediate treatment and now we can just wait to see if he responds to it. I can't give any confident prognosis at this point. He may just not be strong enough to withstand the further treatment or intervention. Beau's form of leukemia does come with a higher risk of heart problems. It might just be too late. For now, we just wait to see what his condition is in coming days should a court order dissolve his refusal of artificial sustaining of life.

I can say with 100% confidence that it wasn't Daisy whom he contracted this off, nor anyone else. He has probably had it for days, if not weeks. It can be completely asymptomatic or any symptoms could be masked by chemo side effects. The best I can do right now is just ask that you prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. If nothing else, prepare for a point that may come where you all need to sit down and consider what's best for Beau together. If anyone has any questions, please come talk to me at any time.

"Because I'm only human, and I bleed when I fall down."

[angelwithoutwings]

Who: Angel Shaw and Austin Watson-Shaw
What: Moral support
Where: ICU, Mount Sinai
When: Day after Beau's turn for the worst

For Angel and Rose, they were struggling to try to keep Daisy in her routine with this horrible turn of events. Initially, they were both at the hospital and brought her with them when they were waiting on news of Beau's condition. Now that it was a waiting game, it could really impede on her growth if her routine was thrown out too much now. So, one of them were trying to be home with her where they could, and not rely on sitters. It was hard, because it meant no time together as a family in this tough time, but they had to put Daisy first. All this pain, fear, and heartache would affect her, even this young. There was no easy answer.

Angel hadn't gotten any sleep in over 24 hours. That ultimately could be a bad thing for him, but he had to do what he had to do. Rose had just come home from the hospital with her sister, Jules, and now Angel was back to see how Austin was holding up. Going into Beau's room, it was so fucking confronting. Beau looked incredibly small in the bed and maybe one of the most simple things, yet also the most heartbreaking, was that Austin had put Beau's bandanna with the Shrek ears on him. It was the smallest snapshot of normalcy Austin could grasp onto. It wasn't that Beau had a problem with the fact he had lost his hair, but he got a cold head. Being Beau, he had turned it into a running joke with a pile of amusing and cool hats and bandannas.

All the machines were daunting, because Beau's heart and breathing needed mechanically forced at the moment. Without these machines, he'd be gone. That was the whole tough part of this. "I just spoke with Tara. She has to go home for her own family. Her bub's still being breastfed and she needs to watch her own health. She's sharing Beau's care with Christian. He's in really good hands."