I know some people think it's like how you feel when you daydream or have an out-of-body experience or something but it's a mental illness. No mental illness is really passive in its symptoms. Patients do describe feeling disconnected from themselves or being unable to concentrate or forget but for Justin, it's a much more intrusive presentation. He has big gaps in his memory from dissociation but he also remembers a lot about the episodes, just in an abstract way. Things feel very overwhelming for him when it starts, like information overload. He struggles to handle any sort of intense emotions. He's conscious of things happening around him but he can't ground himself in it. By the time he starts to completely dissociate, it's more like being hit in the head and knocked out for him, like how a concussed person sometimes can't remember what happened with the events of their injury. Dissociation disorder on its own would probably be bearable for him but it only happens to him when his bipolar or C-PTSD are already severely exacerbated so it's compounded. It's not nice for him, he's not used to it yet. It's only been recently he's had any consciousness that it happens, from when dissociated memories began to come back to him after his... well, the woman who took him's death. No, I don't think cheating is in Chance's nature. He's like Billy, a testicular cancer survivor. Not that something like that prevents cheating but he and I have talked about other things in great depth, just not officially committing or what we want long-term. I'm not sure either of us thought it would be something long-term. What I know of him, I'm pretty confident he wouldn't hurt me by cheating. He knows I was married and cheating ended it. That's pretty much it.