What's dissociation like, to experience it? I've obviously seen the flipside as a nurse but Justin's always said he doesn't know because he doesn't know when his brain's doing it. Like when he has a psychotic episode. Having panic and dissociation at the same time must feel like you're losing your fucking mind. Well, reluctance and ambivalence generally means you have reasons to not want it. Fear usually means you do, you just have anxiety about it going wrong. Failed relationships can be a reason for all three. Getting back on the horse is fucking terrifying. You weren't to blame for your failed marriage. You didn't cheat on yourself. Are you worried with how often Chance is away would mean there's a higher chance of being cheated on again? Do you think that's in his nature? Hell, no. Talking unravels the confusion. It evens the playing field and gives you a chance to hash out all the insecurities. Honestly, pretty much all of mine, Winston has easily reassured me of. He didn't spite me having them and it really helped not try to just bury them all for fear of scaring him away. Have you talked much to him about what happened to you in the past?