Arian Magnus Alcott (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tearsofpearls) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dreamlikenewyork2020-01-22 04:17 am
tearsofpearls) wrote in dreamlikenewyork2020-01-22 04:17 am
"Burning up with fever, and you're the fever inside."
Who: Arian Alcott and Chance Marsden
What: Unexpected Visitor
Where: Arian's apartment, Hoboken, NJ
When: After this
Before ringing the buzzer, Chance double-checked he had the right address on his phone. He had laughed his ass off when he saw Autumn had put Arian’s details in his phone under ‘King Booty’ in his contacts, and her own under ‘Consolation Booty’. Autumn had been a bit of fun, they both knew that. She wasn’t looking for her Prince Charming when they hooked up on the dancefloor and after some delicious grinding, had a couple of fucks in the bathroom. She said as much when she left the party with her friends, but they promised if the hookup stars aligned again, they wouldn’t be opposed to it.
Arian was definitely the one who had caught Chance’s intrigue; hook, line, and sinker. They hadn’t swapped numbers at Thanksgiving but they added each other as Friends on Facebook and Chance hoped Ari would shoot him a PM sext or fifty. It had been radio silence, though Autumn filled him in on why that was at the New Year party. Ari had his hands full with Justin after Mark was hospitalised with his heart again and now Ari caught the flu, or something along those lines. Came down with something that kept him from coming to the party. Chance had been hoping they could hookup again but Ari was a no-show.
It had to suck getting ill for New Year. Chance never intended to send flowers to Ari. He wanted to drop in to see if he was okay or needed anything. It wasn’t like he was going to hit on him if he wasn’t feeling well, but the least he could do was check on him. The apartment block was pretty swanky but not even in New York City. He lived in Hoboken in NJ, but it was only about forty minutes drive, give or take. He waited until morning. Rocking up not long after midnight on the doorstep of a complete stranger he slept with once who apparently skipped a New Year’s party because he was ill would be rude. Chance wasn’t rude. Horny, but not rude. Horny wasn’t even why he was doing this. He genuinely wanted to check in on Arian, just because. He brought some flowers and soup he got at an organic cafe on the way over. Before he got cold feet, he rang the buzzer.
The buzzer woke Ari and some hoarse colourful swearing fell from his lips when he realised he was a sweaty aching mess in his bathroom, lying where he flopped onto his stomach on the sofa earlier. He pushed himself up with his hands, regretting the movement once he was at least half sitting up. Nausea sloshed in his stomach and everything hurt. He loosened the robe and tugged it away from his neck, then tackled standing up to see who the hell it was ringing his buzzer at what felt like the ass-crack of dawn. In truth, he had no idea what time it really was, just that the light filtering through the vertical drapes indicated it was daylight.
He was shocked when he opened the door and found Chance standing there, but he was feeling too ill to really manage much more than a groggy blink at him. He had all intentions of shooting for a greeting, but as soon as he tried, he held up a hand before his fingers went to his lips trying to swallow back a heave. This flu was fucking nasty and he was a typical clinician who hated getting ill. He was also someone who extensively prided himself on his appearance, so he was a bit mortified at Chance seeing him looking this dreadful.
“Whoa, okay. I know that look.” Chance stepped forward, quickly taking Arian’s arm and elbowed the apartment door closed behind him. He didn’t even have time to appreciate his toned chest beneath the bathrobe that was slipping down his shoulder. A rapid skim of the open-plan living space and he spotted a small plastic tub sitting on the coffee table, so he shot over and grabbed it, bringing it back with a split second or two to spare before Ari was being sick into it. The apartment was obviously usually a really lovely place with modern and chic interior decorating but it screamed SICK PERSON at the moment. Carefully, he guided Ari to the nearest armchair, shifting a bag from the pharmacy from it to the coffee table so Ari could sit. A bottle of Pepto Bismol and a pack of flu pills dropped out onto the glass top. He crouched down beside Ari and raked his blonde hair out of his face and held it back so he didn’t get vomit in it. Ari’s forehead was burning with fever but he was shivery and clammy. He reached over and grabbed the box of tissues sitting on the floor by the sofa, ready for when the vomiting spell eased. “The flu’s a bitch, huh?”
Once Ari was done, he was trying to catch his breath. By this point, he felt too shit to be caring how he was looking but he did feel bad for puking in front of Chance. Even if he had no idea why the guy was here or how he knew his address (though, Justin had invited his new family to the New Year’s party, so he likely asked someone for it), Chance got the raw end of the stick having to sit here and watch a complete stranger barf. Yet, he didn’t seem phased by it. Probably because he was a doctor. He just wasn’t Ari’s doctor, which was the issue. “If this is a booty call, sorry, but you’re not getting any today.” He pulled a tissue from the box to wipe his mouth. “And I’m sorry you had to just see that. You probably shouldn’t stick around if you don’t want to see it again.”
“Dude, I’m a doctor. If I don’t want to see vomit, I’m up shit creek. OTC flu pills won’t help with nausea and even if you get Pepto down, it won’t stop you vomiting.” Chance took his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out a strip of pills, giving them to Ari so he could read the medication name on the blister pack. “Take a couple of these once your gut stops the post-puke spasms, okay. There’s two doses there. It should help enough to get some fluids down and get some rest, the best thing possible for the flu. You didn’t have much to come out, which means you’re not keeping a lot down.”
Ari took the pills and had a look at the back of it. “Ondansetron. You just keep prescription antiemetics in your wallet for all your hookups that catch the flu? Not much of a sexy pickup line unless you keep your rubbers behind it.”
Chance laughed and got up to go into Ari’s kitchen. “No, it’s my prescription medication. And you know what it is, so you know it’s safe to take.” He found a glass in the drying rack and half-filled it with ice from the dispenser on the fridge, then poured a bottle of water into it, bringing it back. “Not trying to tell you how to suck eggs or anything. You’re a carer, you know all this shit. But carers can be notoriously bad at taking care of themselves. Iced water will help a little more with your stomach than room temp from a bottle.”
Ari popped two of the pills and swallowed them with some water. He had no objections to anything that would stop him being sick. The other flu symptoms were bad enough, he was pissed when he started to feel nauseous on top of it. He was hoping to get away with the aches, fever, and congestion. “This is mostly used for post-op or chemo-related vomiting. Or morning sickness, but I think we can rule that out. Sash has the wafer for his migraine vomiting because he can’t swallow anything.”
“There’s a question in there, isn’t there? Okay. I can’t expect any of you to just trust letting us into Justin’s life without honesty and openness. I just want you to promise not to say anything to Justin. I want the chance to talk to him about this stuff myself, so he doesn’t feel it’s all just us wanting private information out of him with no give and take. I had cancer, relatively recently. But I had surgery and chemo and radiation therapy. Came out one of the lucky ones. Still getting over it all, though. Some foods can can sometimes give me a bit of an upset stomach. I prefer not to hurl, if I can help it. Who wouldn’t?” Chance gave Ari’s arm a soft pat with a sympathetic smile.
“Cancer? Fucking hell, I was not at all expecting you to say that. I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have pried if I thought it was something that serious. You didn’t have any obligation to tell me that just because I care for Justin. He wouldn’t want that either.” Ari couldn’t help but analyse Chance closely without trying to be so obvious. “Sorry, you just look so well and it sounded like your job is demanding and high-paced. It sounded like you flew in from somewhere important for Thanksgiving and went back after it. That’s why I didn’t bother contacting you. Just a bit of fun for a night and all that. Are you okay? You look well. You really do.”
Chance put his hand on Arian’s shoulder. “And you don’t. It’s fine, I’ve got nothing to hide and I’m happy to talk to you about it, but you need to be in bed. Let me help you out. I brought some supplies. Dropped into the pharmacy and got some things that might help and brought soup. But don’t even think about that yet. You’re not up to facing food.” He stood, taking Ari’s hand to help him up.
“You brought me supplies, soup, and flowers…” Arian noticed, taking Chance’s hand and stiffly pulling himself up, wincing when his whole body ached in protest. “You brought me flowers, shit. That’s sweet but how the hell did you know I was sick with the flu? The only person I told was Autumn.”
“Ah, sprung. That’s who told me. She knew I was looking for you, so she told me. Which way to the bedroom?” Chance asked, grabbing the paper bag he brought from the pharmacy. “You are burning. When I say this, I promise it’s innocent in intent, if not thought, but we need to get you out of this bathrobe. Have you got something that can keep you warm without overheating you? Cotton PJs or something?”
Arian couldn’t stifle a groan hearing that, leading the way to his bedroom up the hall. “I didn’t want anyone to know. I actually don’t even want you here now, no offence. I prefer suffering in silence and people not seeing me when I look so shit. Do you always get what you want? Don’t answer that. I think I already know the answer… barring the fact you’re a cancer survivor. Jeezus, pyjamas? Fuck, I don’t do pyjamas and I’m dizzy. I’m either going to throw up or pass out if I don’t lie down,” he warned.
“It’s okay. We’re here. Lie down. I want to check that fever, though. Have you got a thermometer? I promise not to make any jokes about the benefits of rectal ones. Lie on your side in case you do actually pass out and throw up, though.” Chance helped Ari lie down on his bed. “Are you telling me you sleep naked? Damn this flu. Look, I don’t put myself in the same boat as most cancer survivors because my life wasn’t severely at risk. It was operable and it was a quick battle, all things considered. Are you naked under this or can we get you out of it?”
“Cancer’s cancer. How long ago was ‘relatively recently’ anyway? You said you had chemo and radiotherapy too so it still wasn’t easy. Nothing about cancer’s easy. What sort of cancer was it? I’m wearing sweatpants, it’s fine. Besides, you’ve seen everything under here so you can’t get shy on me now.” Arian loosened the sash of the bathrobe and got one arm out before he was too wiped out to give a fuck about the rest.
“Maybe not shy, but also not taking advantage of you when you’re sick or making assumptions that you want me seeing what you’ve got under there again. T-Shirts?” Chance asked, pointing to the dresser by the window. When he got a confirmation nod, he found a long-sleeved t-shirt in the top drawer and came to sit on the bed beside Arian. “It was testicular cancer. I was diagnosed about a year ago. I’ve only been working on an advisory level for the last six months or so. It’s off-season now, so it’s no big deal. They took the ball and zapped the lymph nodes in my groin and abdomen. It all did the job.”
Ari pulled the shirt on, realising it was a Footloose one he was given ages ago after he intercepted Justin self-harming and got blood all over his own clothes. Justin told him to keep the shirt. “Hang on… are you saying you had an orchiectomy? You must’ve had a prosthetic then. I won’t say anything stupid like ‘I didn’t even notice’ because I know how good prosthetics are. We have a friend who went through it. They had no idea he had it, his husband found it.”
“Hey, but if you did confirm you didn’t notice, I wouldn’t object. You get a nut cut off and you can take all the ego-boosts you can get,” Chance joked and folded back the extra blanket on Ari’s bed so he didn’t get too hot again. “It was a big deal at the time. You feel like you’re about to get castrated but I don’t even think about it now. Once I got my libido back and I realised the only real indication of anything is the scar near my groin, it got easier to recover from. I did opt for the prosthetic. Some people choose not to, that it’s just a cosmetic thing but I didn’t want to be reminded of it every time I hooked up. I’m not in a committed relationship and never have been. It was important in the grander scheme of things.”
“I can understand that. Even Billy, who was in a committed relationship opted for it for similar reasons. I didn’t notice at all. I didn’t even notice the scar.” Arian put his hand over his forehead. “My head feels like it’s on fire. I don’t even have Tylenol to help with a fever. How did you find it? Sorry, you don’t have to answer if it’s too personal. You seriously don’t owe me anything just because we had fun for a night. You also seriously don’t need to put up with me sick like this, even if I’m sure you’re doing it purely out of the kindness of your own heart. Maybe with a side order of another hookup when I don’t have the sexiness factor of a slug. Didn’t you and your family have a breakfast or brunch planned with Justin this morning? Something along those lines. My head’s killing me, I can’t remember his schedule.”
Chance laughed softly and took Ari’s hand from his forehead to replace it with his. “I’m not into hookups or relationships where anyone thinks they are owed things anyway. Or owe the other person things. That’s definitely not why I’m here. Do you even have a thermometer? I brought you some Tylenol. I figured even if you weren’t running a fever, it still helps with flu-related aches and pains. But I do really want to know how high that temp is because there’s some really funky flu strains out there right now, so humour me. And in return, I’ll answer any questions you want to ask about my cancer. My best friend’s a nurse and she happens to be an occasional friend with benefits. She felt the lump one night and knew it hadn’t been there the time we hooked up before. They did an ultrasound and it looks suspicious and my bloods showed tumour markers. It had spread to a couple of lymph nodes in my groin. I was booked in the next day to have the ball removed. I did have brunch with my family and Justin planned but Lexi texted me and told me Justin’s not having a good day so it’s a raincheck. He’s having a low, which his uncle said sometimes happens after big events. They’re totally boning,” he offered, smirking.
“Right, yeah. I do have a thermometer. It’s in the bathroom cabinet, just across the hall. You really brought me shit to help with the flu? Look, I totally got the impression you were just a fuck-loving bachelor when we hooked up. I’m not saying this isn’t sweet, it really is, but… why? Is this because of Justin, a favour to him? This is a long distance to go out of your way when I’ve just got the flu and really bad company right now. And by bad company, I mean there’s no way in hell I fuck anything, no offence but I’m aching all over and probably not done puking.” Ari shifted, trying to find a more comfortable spot but it was useless. “She found it during sex. That had to have been a really hard blow. I can’t even imagine. We had a brief scare with my ex-husband but it turned out to be just a varicocele. Does this mean you can’t have kids? That’s why you were so emphatic Justin’s going to be your folks’ only grandkid, isn’t it? Yeah, best thing for Justin when he’s having a low is to leave him to it. He mostly just hibernates through it.”
Chance went to get the thermometer and fetched a damp face cloth while he was there and came back, smiling with subtle amusement. “Even if the picture of me throwing on a superhero cape and swooping in to rescue my nephew’s carer from a nasty flu, no. This isn’t a favour to Justin. I just heard you weren’t at the party because you were sick, so I came to see if you needed anything, not to shag you. Not that I would be opposed to that when you’re feeling better. Just saying. You just concentrate on being sick and puke as much as you need. I can go if you want me to. I know some people do better being ill on their own and don’t want to be bothered. Now this is a boring old oral thermometer, so we need it under the tongue and no talking until it beeps.” He handed it to Ari and sat on the bed beside him again. “No, I can’t have children. The radiation and chemo took care of that. It’s okay, I never had the urge. Lexi said she saw Justin in a depressive episode when he was in Vermont, that he was barely functioning. His upswings and downswings are pretty severe, then. I can understand why he needs carers.”
Arian nodded but had to wait until the thermometer beeped before he could talk. Once it did, he took it out and handed it to Chance. “Sure you want to stick around, though? You might catch this and I’d feel terrible. You don’t see your family often. You should go spend time with them. Do you want to know more about that? How Justin’s illnesses present, I mean. It’s okay, he’s told us all he doesn’t mind us talking to you and your family about any of it. He knows you need to know, he just might not be able to tell you in the best way you’d need to understand. When do you have to go back overseas?”
Chance checked the reading, pursing his lips. “Hmm… 102.2. You’re definitely staying in bed and getting plowed with fluids. Tylenol should bring it down a bit.” He fished around in the pharmacy bag for the bottle of pills to give Ari a couple. “Don’t stress, I’ll be fine. I don’t mind staying. Look, I enjoyed your company at Thanksgiving. I’m interested in spending more time with you. I’m looking into getting a permanent place in New York. I’ll still have to travel a lot but considering our whole family dynamic will change now there’s a living breathing son, grandson, and nephew in the equation - not just the thought of one - I’d like to base myself closer to my family. Mid-March, I head to Australia for the first F1 race of the season. I would like to know more about how his illness presents. I get the clinical stuff, but for him personally. If you think he really wouldn’t mind you telling me. You don’t have to tell me now, though. You’re not well.”
“Fucking hospitals and their fucking germs. But Justin got his medical clearance to return to work and his kidney function is almost where they want it to get him off dialysis, so it was worth it.” Ari stiffly propped himself up on his elbow to take the Tylenol, getting one pill down at a time in case it stirred the nausea back up with a vengeance. He sunk his head back onto his pillow, pulling the blanket around him. “I’m okay to talk for a little while. I think your family will love that you have a base closer but I also know Justin will love it. He’s got a close relationship with his uncles and he’s a seriously hilarious and fun kid when he’s in a good headspace. There’ll be hard shit, there’s no doubt about that but I think you’ll really enjoy him. Don’t forget to enjoy him in amongst wanting to take care of him and get it right. You do that, he’ll call you out on it. He’s done it to every single one of us. Tell me what you want to know.”
“That’s good advice,” Chance murmured, nodding slowly. He appreciated Arian’s wisdom, coming from having close access to Justin and giving him therapeutic strategies to cope with life better. That was a powerful thing, so Chance more than trusted his advice. “And that tells me he’s an extremely cool nephew, if he’s got close relationships with them. How many uncles has he got? I hope they think I’m worthy to join the ranks. I guess I just want a clue of what’s classic for him, for his most common episodes. I’m the only medical professional in our family, full stop. I’d like to be able to help my family understand things so Justin doesn’t have to give us a dot-point list of what has happened to him, what might happen.”
“Three uncles. There’s Sam, Mark’s twin. James is their biological younger brother and the FBI Agent. Then there’s Alec, who is their adopted brother and the ex-military psych. He left the service so he could work with Justin. He’s a specialist in PTSD. I’m sure they would welcome you to the ranks with open arms.” Ari rested his hand on Chance’s knee. “It’s okay if you’re still scared and nervous. Getting the information’s good but I don’t want you to think you have to censor that you’re scared just because you’re a doctor. Okay, so Justin has Rapid Cycling Bipolar with associated mixed or psychotic episodes. But his psychosis is only ever triggered by his trauma. The bipolar doesn’t cause those, it just exacerbates them. This means he can be both up and down at once, or up and down in rapid succession. His manic symptoms generally present as things like restlessness like fidgeting or drumming on things, rapid speech, scattered thought processes, increased energy, decreased sleep, he might exercise obsessively like he’s trying to burn energy but he’s pushed himself too far at times. He can also be snappy or agitated, hyper-sensitive or increasingly frustrated at himself. He might get flighty or try to take on doing multiple projects at once. Then you have the depression. His depression is extreme. Once he’s on a low, he descends quickly. It’s like someone pulls his plug out. He’ll be quiet, he barely talks, his voice goes monotone, it’s like he’s looking right through you if you can even get his attention. This is when he’s at most risk of self-harming because of the dopamine hit. He sleeps a lot but on the worst days, he can’t function. He can barely use the bathroom himself, often he needs help with that. He needs to be dressed, helped to shower, he won’t eat but they have to almost force-feed him to take his medications. They’ve had him on PEG feeding when he’s stopped eating entirely. You can see when he’s having an episode in his eyes and he doesn’t like being touched. Okay? It’s okay to be scared and nervous but there are strategies in place for all of this.”
Now they knew Ari’s temperature, Chance folded the damp cloth and placed it over his forehead. “Okay… how often does he have episodes, approximately? I know you can’t give definitive answers. Things like that don’t have static timeframes. I knew he self-harmed. Does he just cut or are there other ways? Lexi’s stressed about that part, if it happens when he’s with her. It’s hard for her… for us… to learn how much suffering he’s been through and how sick he is.”
“It’s sporadic. There’s not a lot of pattern to it but maybe once, twice a month. You have to understand that not all his episodes are severe, though. That’s all worst case scenario. They can come mild or moderate too, and he can be okay. Keep functioning in a limited capacity and he knows what he has to do to help himself, or Sash takes cares of him. You’ll see the signs and so will your sister. If it seems like he’s getting worse quickly, call for help. You think of a way someone can self-harm, then he’s probably tried it multiple times. He’s come a long way even in the time I’ve known him. But he’s also had setbacks. What are you most worried about? I’m getting a sense you and your family probably have specific concerns that you think will be dealbreakers if you screw up. Understandable. Is it that you’re worried he suicide on your watch?” Arian guessed quietly, watching Chance. He was a confident and self-assured guy, pretty much Ari’s type. But even the most confident of people could still be terrified someone they loved were at risk of taking their own life.
Chance took a slow breath, giving Ari a close gaze. “I’m trying to figure out if I’m just that obvious or if this is what everyone goes through adjusting to coming into his life. It wasn’t something I wanted to directly say but I feel like it’s something Lexi’s scared to directly say, even if it’s probably what’s terrifying her the most. She’s not scared to be Justin’s mom. She’s been his mom his whole life, she’s ready for this. It would just be such a cruel twist of fate if she gets him, and loses him in her care again. Not sure she’d ever recover from that.”
“No one would. She has to know she’s not alone. None of you are. But you’re a doctor, so I know you know I can’t tell you it’ll be fine and won’t happen. He understands people are scared. He’s scared. Whenever he attempts, he wakes up in a hospital bed to a rude shock that he’s still alive, still very suicidal. Do you not feel like you can talk to him about it? Because the best advice I can give is to do that. Ask him if you can, and he’ll tell you when he’s ready. Justin’s eighteen now and he’s survived horrors a lot of us wouldn’t. Always the best thing for him is to let him tell his own story, in his words. I can give you all the information in the world about his condition and how it presents, but this stuff, if you talk to him, it’ll also show him he can trust you. I’m glad you asked me about this. Makes you seeing me sick worth it.” Arian could understand the processes Justin’s new family would be going through and that they would all probably find their own ways to deal with this, what worked best for them. He squeezed Chance’s leg. “Fuck, I just remembered it’s New Year. Have you slept?”
Chance laughed softly and shook his head. “No, but it’s fine. I might not work in a hospital but I did do all my learning in them, so I’m the king of all-nighters. I wouldn’t be opposed if you pointed me in the direction of where you keep your coffee, though. You should get some rest to try to sleep that flu off a little. I really appreciate you talking to me about all this, though. You’ve given me a lot to think about. As much as I want to be a cool uncle, I want him to know he’s safe with me, with us. That beats anything to do with cool.”
“No. No coffee. Lie down, get some sleep. Giving you somewhere to lie down after you came so far out of your way to check on me after being up all night is the least I can do. Come on. We can’t fuck, so it’s the next best thing, right?” Ari patted the vacant space beside him in his king-sized bed that he hadn’t shared with anyone since he and Trey decided they were better as friends. “You can probably find some sweatpants in the dresser if you want to be more comfortable.”
Chance raised his eyebrows at the casual invite but he was still smiling. Ari was feeling like shit and he looked exactly as he was feeling. The easiest thing he could do is ask Chance to leave and then crawl into bed and hibernate until the flu passed. But he was inviting him to stay to get some rest and it was sweet. “Yeah, okay. Why not? But only if you promise to let me give you a hand. If you need or want anything, just give me a nudge. I can help. It’s the least I can do in thanks.” He stood and moved to the dresser, finding a pair of light grey FCUK sweatpants. He shucked his jeans off and pulled the sweatpants on and unbuttoned his dress shirt, leaving him in just his black tank top. He lay down on the spot beside Ari, lying on his side with his head propped up on his hand. “Is it too forward to ask why the hell your ex spouse let you get away? They must’ve been nuts.”
Ari closed his eyes and in lieu of being able to laugh because he felt too shit, he just huffed a breath of amusement through his nose. “Okay, deal. But the pills you gave me are working. I don’t feel as nauseous. Hopefully you’ve spared me the indignity of having to yack in front of you again. Ah. The ex. Ex-husband, I’m gay. Yeah, there’s no great secret. We did everything way too quickly and way too young, it was the wrong choice, and ultimately he cheated on me. Once we hit that place, I wanted it over. Chalked it up to a stupid mistake and moved on.” He unfolded the cloth and wiped it over his face, then left it there, trying to draw some relief from the dampness that wasn’t cool anymore from his flushed skin. “If you want something juicy, I previously dated Justin’s attorney, who happens to be his dad’s employee.”
“Damn. You are hardcore, aren’t you? I mean about banging the attorney, not the ex-husband. That sucks. He sounds like an ass who doesn’t deserve you. Young or not, you don’t fuck around on your partner. See, you’re a living breathing posterboy of why I like to ease into relationships. Granted, I’m not going to profess to be an expert. I just figure I’ll know what I’m looking for when I find it. How did that go down with Mark and Justin, though? Is that why it’s not still a thing?” Chance asked, curious. He pushed Ari’s damp hair back, tucking it behind his ear.
Ari snorted softly in amusement and it made him cough. He had to take the cloth away to sit up and sip some water. “Trey and I thought we were being pretty smart and discreet, but Justin figured it out and called us out on it. I still have no fucking idea how he figured it out beyond the fact he’s extremely cluey and observant. His uncle, Alec, thinks it stems from having to live with hypervigilance constantly through the years he was being abused. Trey’s identical twin is Kyan, married to one of Justin’s big sisters, Reecy. If you spoke to Autumn, she probably filled you in on some of this stuff. And Mark’s a reformed manwhore, so he didn’t care. He thought it was hilarious we were trying to hide it but we just didn’t want to make anything more complicated. Trey’s a great guy and I adore him but we got to a point where it was logistically a nightmare, so we stopped it before it turned nasty.” He put the glass on his nightstand and slumped back onto his pillow. “You’ve got the right idea, though. Don’t rush that shit. It’s nicer when you stop and smell the roses.”
Chance smiled, tucking the blanket back in around Ari. “Autumn and I… okay, cards on the table? We slept together. But it was a one-off and we both knew that was it. She has a sort of thing with another actor and all that crap. She figured out that maybe I had a bit of a thing for you. Which leads me to my next point, in case my sleeping with her was a clincher or anything. I’d like to take you out for dinner when you’re feeling better. You were exceptionally hot in the sack and I might be slightly addicted to your ass but I’d like to get to know you more, just when you’re not feeling so much like you want to chuck your guts up. If you’re not interested or that would make things way too complicated for you with Justin, I’ll totally understand.”
Shifting his head on his pillow to try to accommodate his aching neck, Arian gave Chance a quiet look. “No clincher. I’m not an asshole. I’m glad you hooked up with her. Autumn’s a sweet chick but had fuck ups like we all have. Her heart’s in the right place and she’s gorgeous. You should have fun at New Year. As for Justin…” He trailed off, smirking. “Justin loves matchmaking. He spent so long without love around him, he wants everyone he loves to have it. Okay, I’d love to have dinner with you but let's leave out the details for now. The mere thought of food makes me want to puke.”
“So, that’s what he’s doing with Lexi and his uncle. She was so sure it would upset him or piss him off. Actually, I think at first she thought they would try to pull a you and Trey, keeping his hush, but he walked in on them naked in bed, so that went out the window.” Chance hadn’t been letting his big sister live it down either. Once he knew Justin was okay with it, he thought it was hilarious. His sister hadn’t let herself be open to sex or relationships in ages and a few weeks into finding her kid, she’s nailing his uncle. He was a proud little brother. “Okay, it’s a date and I won’t mention the D-word until you’re feeling better. Does that mean the other D-word could be on the table again at some point…?”
“What? Your sister and Sam? Shit, I’ve missed out on some good stuff. I can see it, though. I think Sam’s like her in that sense. Plus, if it helps, I can vouch that he’s basically one of the nicest and kindest guys to ever exist in the universe. He won’t hurt her. I’m not even exaggerating, he’s disgustingly nice. I mean that with all the love in the world. He should be a Disney Prince.” Arian scrunched his face up, burrowing further under the covers when feeling overheating changing into feeling chilled. Fucking fevers. “If you’re talking about my dick, that’s definitely going to have to wait because I’m sure even that’s hurting right now. Just hit me up again when I shake this fucker.”
“Yeah? Didn’t know real good guys like that existed beyond Disney. Justin joked about his dad being a manwhore so I guess I just thought being his identical twin, he’d be the same. Not that there’s anything wrong with that because it’s no secret I’ve got a membership into that brigade myself but I really, really don’t anyone to hurt her. She’s been hurt more than anyone should be. She’s ached every single day for that kid and now she has him. I just want her to be as happy as she can be. He’ll take care of her? I don’t have to stress quite as much about it?” Chance noticed Ari was shivering now so he pulled the extra blanket from the bottom of the bed and tucked it around him, rubbing his back to give him a little more warmth.
Ari hummed and closed his eyes. “They exist and he’s there in the flesh. He won’t even mind if you pull the protective brother routine on him because he does it himself. He’s the one to talk to for awesome uncling tips. He talked Justin down from a ledge one night in the middle of a psychotic episode. He and Mark and Yin and Yang. They’re nothing alike. He’ll take care of her. Don’t stress…” he mumbled.
Chance watched Ari doze off and settled onto the pillows himself. This whole situation was a gigantic mindfuck but this part wasn’t bad. Now he had an official date for the first time in a long time and life was suddenly flowing in a direction none of them expected. He certainly didn’t mind that Ari’s gorgeous ass had landed in his lap - literally - and now wasn’t the time to take any of this for granted.
LOG, COMPLETE
What: Unexpected Visitor
Where: Arian's apartment, Hoboken, NJ
When: After this
Before ringing the buzzer, Chance double-checked he had the right address on his phone. He had laughed his ass off when he saw Autumn had put Arian’s details in his phone under ‘King Booty’ in his contacts, and her own under ‘Consolation Booty’. Autumn had been a bit of fun, they both knew that. She wasn’t looking for her Prince Charming when they hooked up on the dancefloor and after some delicious grinding, had a couple of fucks in the bathroom. She said as much when she left the party with her friends, but they promised if the hookup stars aligned again, they wouldn’t be opposed to it.
Arian was definitely the one who had caught Chance’s intrigue; hook, line, and sinker. They hadn’t swapped numbers at Thanksgiving but they added each other as Friends on Facebook and Chance hoped Ari would shoot him a PM sext or fifty. It had been radio silence, though Autumn filled him in on why that was at the New Year party. Ari had his hands full with Justin after Mark was hospitalised with his heart again and now Ari caught the flu, or something along those lines. Came down with something that kept him from coming to the party. Chance had been hoping they could hookup again but Ari was a no-show.
It had to suck getting ill for New Year. Chance never intended to send flowers to Ari. He wanted to drop in to see if he was okay or needed anything. It wasn’t like he was going to hit on him if he wasn’t feeling well, but the least he could do was check on him. The apartment block was pretty swanky but not even in New York City. He lived in Hoboken in NJ, but it was only about forty minutes drive, give or take. He waited until morning. Rocking up not long after midnight on the doorstep of a complete stranger he slept with once who apparently skipped a New Year’s party because he was ill would be rude. Chance wasn’t rude. Horny, but not rude. Horny wasn’t even why he was doing this. He genuinely wanted to check in on Arian, just because. He brought some flowers and soup he got at an organic cafe on the way over. Before he got cold feet, he rang the buzzer.
The buzzer woke Ari and some hoarse colourful swearing fell from his lips when he realised he was a sweaty aching mess in his bathroom, lying where he flopped onto his stomach on the sofa earlier. He pushed himself up with his hands, regretting the movement once he was at least half sitting up. Nausea sloshed in his stomach and everything hurt. He loosened the robe and tugged it away from his neck, then tackled standing up to see who the hell it was ringing his buzzer at what felt like the ass-crack of dawn. In truth, he had no idea what time it really was, just that the light filtering through the vertical drapes indicated it was daylight.
He was shocked when he opened the door and found Chance standing there, but he was feeling too ill to really manage much more than a groggy blink at him. He had all intentions of shooting for a greeting, but as soon as he tried, he held up a hand before his fingers went to his lips trying to swallow back a heave. This flu was fucking nasty and he was a typical clinician who hated getting ill. He was also someone who extensively prided himself on his appearance, so he was a bit mortified at Chance seeing him looking this dreadful.
“Whoa, okay. I know that look.” Chance stepped forward, quickly taking Arian’s arm and elbowed the apartment door closed behind him. He didn’t even have time to appreciate his toned chest beneath the bathrobe that was slipping down his shoulder. A rapid skim of the open-plan living space and he spotted a small plastic tub sitting on the coffee table, so he shot over and grabbed it, bringing it back with a split second or two to spare before Ari was being sick into it. The apartment was obviously usually a really lovely place with modern and chic interior decorating but it screamed SICK PERSON at the moment. Carefully, he guided Ari to the nearest armchair, shifting a bag from the pharmacy from it to the coffee table so Ari could sit. A bottle of Pepto Bismol and a pack of flu pills dropped out onto the glass top. He crouched down beside Ari and raked his blonde hair out of his face and held it back so he didn’t get vomit in it. Ari’s forehead was burning with fever but he was shivery and clammy. He reached over and grabbed the box of tissues sitting on the floor by the sofa, ready for when the vomiting spell eased. “The flu’s a bitch, huh?”
Once Ari was done, he was trying to catch his breath. By this point, he felt too shit to be caring how he was looking but he did feel bad for puking in front of Chance. Even if he had no idea why the guy was here or how he knew his address (though, Justin had invited his new family to the New Year’s party, so he likely asked someone for it), Chance got the raw end of the stick having to sit here and watch a complete stranger barf. Yet, he didn’t seem phased by it. Probably because he was a doctor. He just wasn’t Ari’s doctor, which was the issue. “If this is a booty call, sorry, but you’re not getting any today.” He pulled a tissue from the box to wipe his mouth. “And I’m sorry you had to just see that. You probably shouldn’t stick around if you don’t want to see it again.”
“Dude, I’m a doctor. If I don’t want to see vomit, I’m up shit creek. OTC flu pills won’t help with nausea and even if you get Pepto down, it won’t stop you vomiting.” Chance took his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out a strip of pills, giving them to Ari so he could read the medication name on the blister pack. “Take a couple of these once your gut stops the post-puke spasms, okay. There’s two doses there. It should help enough to get some fluids down and get some rest, the best thing possible for the flu. You didn’t have much to come out, which means you’re not keeping a lot down.”
Ari took the pills and had a look at the back of it. “Ondansetron. You just keep prescription antiemetics in your wallet for all your hookups that catch the flu? Not much of a sexy pickup line unless you keep your rubbers behind it.”
Chance laughed and got up to go into Ari’s kitchen. “No, it’s my prescription medication. And you know what it is, so you know it’s safe to take.” He found a glass in the drying rack and half-filled it with ice from the dispenser on the fridge, then poured a bottle of water into it, bringing it back. “Not trying to tell you how to suck eggs or anything. You’re a carer, you know all this shit. But carers can be notoriously bad at taking care of themselves. Iced water will help a little more with your stomach than room temp from a bottle.”
Ari popped two of the pills and swallowed them with some water. He had no objections to anything that would stop him being sick. The other flu symptoms were bad enough, he was pissed when he started to feel nauseous on top of it. He was hoping to get away with the aches, fever, and congestion. “This is mostly used for post-op or chemo-related vomiting. Or morning sickness, but I think we can rule that out. Sash has the wafer for his migraine vomiting because he can’t swallow anything.”
“There’s a question in there, isn’t there? Okay. I can’t expect any of you to just trust letting us into Justin’s life without honesty and openness. I just want you to promise not to say anything to Justin. I want the chance to talk to him about this stuff myself, so he doesn’t feel it’s all just us wanting private information out of him with no give and take. I had cancer, relatively recently. But I had surgery and chemo and radiation therapy. Came out one of the lucky ones. Still getting over it all, though. Some foods can can sometimes give me a bit of an upset stomach. I prefer not to hurl, if I can help it. Who wouldn’t?” Chance gave Ari’s arm a soft pat with a sympathetic smile.
“Cancer? Fucking hell, I was not at all expecting you to say that. I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have pried if I thought it was something that serious. You didn’t have any obligation to tell me that just because I care for Justin. He wouldn’t want that either.” Ari couldn’t help but analyse Chance closely without trying to be so obvious. “Sorry, you just look so well and it sounded like your job is demanding and high-paced. It sounded like you flew in from somewhere important for Thanksgiving and went back after it. That’s why I didn’t bother contacting you. Just a bit of fun for a night and all that. Are you okay? You look well. You really do.”
Chance put his hand on Arian’s shoulder. “And you don’t. It’s fine, I’ve got nothing to hide and I’m happy to talk to you about it, but you need to be in bed. Let me help you out. I brought some supplies. Dropped into the pharmacy and got some things that might help and brought soup. But don’t even think about that yet. You’re not up to facing food.” He stood, taking Ari’s hand to help him up.
“You brought me supplies, soup, and flowers…” Arian noticed, taking Chance’s hand and stiffly pulling himself up, wincing when his whole body ached in protest. “You brought me flowers, shit. That’s sweet but how the hell did you know I was sick with the flu? The only person I told was Autumn.”
“Ah, sprung. That’s who told me. She knew I was looking for you, so she told me. Which way to the bedroom?” Chance asked, grabbing the paper bag he brought from the pharmacy. “You are burning. When I say this, I promise it’s innocent in intent, if not thought, but we need to get you out of this bathrobe. Have you got something that can keep you warm without overheating you? Cotton PJs or something?”
Arian couldn’t stifle a groan hearing that, leading the way to his bedroom up the hall. “I didn’t want anyone to know. I actually don’t even want you here now, no offence. I prefer suffering in silence and people not seeing me when I look so shit. Do you always get what you want? Don’t answer that. I think I already know the answer… barring the fact you’re a cancer survivor. Jeezus, pyjamas? Fuck, I don’t do pyjamas and I’m dizzy. I’m either going to throw up or pass out if I don’t lie down,” he warned.
“It’s okay. We’re here. Lie down. I want to check that fever, though. Have you got a thermometer? I promise not to make any jokes about the benefits of rectal ones. Lie on your side in case you do actually pass out and throw up, though.” Chance helped Ari lie down on his bed. “Are you telling me you sleep naked? Damn this flu. Look, I don’t put myself in the same boat as most cancer survivors because my life wasn’t severely at risk. It was operable and it was a quick battle, all things considered. Are you naked under this or can we get you out of it?”
“Cancer’s cancer. How long ago was ‘relatively recently’ anyway? You said you had chemo and radiotherapy too so it still wasn’t easy. Nothing about cancer’s easy. What sort of cancer was it? I’m wearing sweatpants, it’s fine. Besides, you’ve seen everything under here so you can’t get shy on me now.” Arian loosened the sash of the bathrobe and got one arm out before he was too wiped out to give a fuck about the rest.
“Maybe not shy, but also not taking advantage of you when you’re sick or making assumptions that you want me seeing what you’ve got under there again. T-Shirts?” Chance asked, pointing to the dresser by the window. When he got a confirmation nod, he found a long-sleeved t-shirt in the top drawer and came to sit on the bed beside Arian. “It was testicular cancer. I was diagnosed about a year ago. I’ve only been working on an advisory level for the last six months or so. It’s off-season now, so it’s no big deal. They took the ball and zapped the lymph nodes in my groin and abdomen. It all did the job.”
Ari pulled the shirt on, realising it was a Footloose one he was given ages ago after he intercepted Justin self-harming and got blood all over his own clothes. Justin told him to keep the shirt. “Hang on… are you saying you had an orchiectomy? You must’ve had a prosthetic then. I won’t say anything stupid like ‘I didn’t even notice’ because I know how good prosthetics are. We have a friend who went through it. They had no idea he had it, his husband found it.”
“Hey, but if you did confirm you didn’t notice, I wouldn’t object. You get a nut cut off and you can take all the ego-boosts you can get,” Chance joked and folded back the extra blanket on Ari’s bed so he didn’t get too hot again. “It was a big deal at the time. You feel like you’re about to get castrated but I don’t even think about it now. Once I got my libido back and I realised the only real indication of anything is the scar near my groin, it got easier to recover from. I did opt for the prosthetic. Some people choose not to, that it’s just a cosmetic thing but I didn’t want to be reminded of it every time I hooked up. I’m not in a committed relationship and never have been. It was important in the grander scheme of things.”
“I can understand that. Even Billy, who was in a committed relationship opted for it for similar reasons. I didn’t notice at all. I didn’t even notice the scar.” Arian put his hand over his forehead. “My head feels like it’s on fire. I don’t even have Tylenol to help with a fever. How did you find it? Sorry, you don’t have to answer if it’s too personal. You seriously don’t owe me anything just because we had fun for a night. You also seriously don’t need to put up with me sick like this, even if I’m sure you’re doing it purely out of the kindness of your own heart. Maybe with a side order of another hookup when I don’t have the sexiness factor of a slug. Didn’t you and your family have a breakfast or brunch planned with Justin this morning? Something along those lines. My head’s killing me, I can’t remember his schedule.”
Chance laughed softly and took Ari’s hand from his forehead to replace it with his. “I’m not into hookups or relationships where anyone thinks they are owed things anyway. Or owe the other person things. That’s definitely not why I’m here. Do you even have a thermometer? I brought you some Tylenol. I figured even if you weren’t running a fever, it still helps with flu-related aches and pains. But I do really want to know how high that temp is because there’s some really funky flu strains out there right now, so humour me. And in return, I’ll answer any questions you want to ask about my cancer. My best friend’s a nurse and she happens to be an occasional friend with benefits. She felt the lump one night and knew it hadn’t been there the time we hooked up before. They did an ultrasound and it looks suspicious and my bloods showed tumour markers. It had spread to a couple of lymph nodes in my groin. I was booked in the next day to have the ball removed. I did have brunch with my family and Justin planned but Lexi texted me and told me Justin’s not having a good day so it’s a raincheck. He’s having a low, which his uncle said sometimes happens after big events. They’re totally boning,” he offered, smirking.
“Right, yeah. I do have a thermometer. It’s in the bathroom cabinet, just across the hall. You really brought me shit to help with the flu? Look, I totally got the impression you were just a fuck-loving bachelor when we hooked up. I’m not saying this isn’t sweet, it really is, but… why? Is this because of Justin, a favour to him? This is a long distance to go out of your way when I’ve just got the flu and really bad company right now. And by bad company, I mean there’s no way in hell I fuck anything, no offence but I’m aching all over and probably not done puking.” Ari shifted, trying to find a more comfortable spot but it was useless. “She found it during sex. That had to have been a really hard blow. I can’t even imagine. We had a brief scare with my ex-husband but it turned out to be just a varicocele. Does this mean you can’t have kids? That’s why you were so emphatic Justin’s going to be your folks’ only grandkid, isn’t it? Yeah, best thing for Justin when he’s having a low is to leave him to it. He mostly just hibernates through it.”
Chance went to get the thermometer and fetched a damp face cloth while he was there and came back, smiling with subtle amusement. “Even if the picture of me throwing on a superhero cape and swooping in to rescue my nephew’s carer from a nasty flu, no. This isn’t a favour to Justin. I just heard you weren’t at the party because you were sick, so I came to see if you needed anything, not to shag you. Not that I would be opposed to that when you’re feeling better. Just saying. You just concentrate on being sick and puke as much as you need. I can go if you want me to. I know some people do better being ill on their own and don’t want to be bothered. Now this is a boring old oral thermometer, so we need it under the tongue and no talking until it beeps.” He handed it to Ari and sat on the bed beside him again. “No, I can’t have children. The radiation and chemo took care of that. It’s okay, I never had the urge. Lexi said she saw Justin in a depressive episode when he was in Vermont, that he was barely functioning. His upswings and downswings are pretty severe, then. I can understand why he needs carers.”
Arian nodded but had to wait until the thermometer beeped before he could talk. Once it did, he took it out and handed it to Chance. “Sure you want to stick around, though? You might catch this and I’d feel terrible. You don’t see your family often. You should go spend time with them. Do you want to know more about that? How Justin’s illnesses present, I mean. It’s okay, he’s told us all he doesn’t mind us talking to you and your family about any of it. He knows you need to know, he just might not be able to tell you in the best way you’d need to understand. When do you have to go back overseas?”
Chance checked the reading, pursing his lips. “Hmm… 102.2. You’re definitely staying in bed and getting plowed with fluids. Tylenol should bring it down a bit.” He fished around in the pharmacy bag for the bottle of pills to give Ari a couple. “Don’t stress, I’ll be fine. I don’t mind staying. Look, I enjoyed your company at Thanksgiving. I’m interested in spending more time with you. I’m looking into getting a permanent place in New York. I’ll still have to travel a lot but considering our whole family dynamic will change now there’s a living breathing son, grandson, and nephew in the equation - not just the thought of one - I’d like to base myself closer to my family. Mid-March, I head to Australia for the first F1 race of the season. I would like to know more about how his illness presents. I get the clinical stuff, but for him personally. If you think he really wouldn’t mind you telling me. You don’t have to tell me now, though. You’re not well.”
“Fucking hospitals and their fucking germs. But Justin got his medical clearance to return to work and his kidney function is almost where they want it to get him off dialysis, so it was worth it.” Ari stiffly propped himself up on his elbow to take the Tylenol, getting one pill down at a time in case it stirred the nausea back up with a vengeance. He sunk his head back onto his pillow, pulling the blanket around him. “I’m okay to talk for a little while. I think your family will love that you have a base closer but I also know Justin will love it. He’s got a close relationship with his uncles and he’s a seriously hilarious and fun kid when he’s in a good headspace. There’ll be hard shit, there’s no doubt about that but I think you’ll really enjoy him. Don’t forget to enjoy him in amongst wanting to take care of him and get it right. You do that, he’ll call you out on it. He’s done it to every single one of us. Tell me what you want to know.”
“That’s good advice,” Chance murmured, nodding slowly. He appreciated Arian’s wisdom, coming from having close access to Justin and giving him therapeutic strategies to cope with life better. That was a powerful thing, so Chance more than trusted his advice. “And that tells me he’s an extremely cool nephew, if he’s got close relationships with them. How many uncles has he got? I hope they think I’m worthy to join the ranks. I guess I just want a clue of what’s classic for him, for his most common episodes. I’m the only medical professional in our family, full stop. I’d like to be able to help my family understand things so Justin doesn’t have to give us a dot-point list of what has happened to him, what might happen.”
“Three uncles. There’s Sam, Mark’s twin. James is their biological younger brother and the FBI Agent. Then there’s Alec, who is their adopted brother and the ex-military psych. He left the service so he could work with Justin. He’s a specialist in PTSD. I’m sure they would welcome you to the ranks with open arms.” Ari rested his hand on Chance’s knee. “It’s okay if you’re still scared and nervous. Getting the information’s good but I don’t want you to think you have to censor that you’re scared just because you’re a doctor. Okay, so Justin has Rapid Cycling Bipolar with associated mixed or psychotic episodes. But his psychosis is only ever triggered by his trauma. The bipolar doesn’t cause those, it just exacerbates them. This means he can be both up and down at once, or up and down in rapid succession. His manic symptoms generally present as things like restlessness like fidgeting or drumming on things, rapid speech, scattered thought processes, increased energy, decreased sleep, he might exercise obsessively like he’s trying to burn energy but he’s pushed himself too far at times. He can also be snappy or agitated, hyper-sensitive or increasingly frustrated at himself. He might get flighty or try to take on doing multiple projects at once. Then you have the depression. His depression is extreme. Once he’s on a low, he descends quickly. It’s like someone pulls his plug out. He’ll be quiet, he barely talks, his voice goes monotone, it’s like he’s looking right through you if you can even get his attention. This is when he’s at most risk of self-harming because of the dopamine hit. He sleeps a lot but on the worst days, he can’t function. He can barely use the bathroom himself, often he needs help with that. He needs to be dressed, helped to shower, he won’t eat but they have to almost force-feed him to take his medications. They’ve had him on PEG feeding when he’s stopped eating entirely. You can see when he’s having an episode in his eyes and he doesn’t like being touched. Okay? It’s okay to be scared and nervous but there are strategies in place for all of this.”
Now they knew Ari’s temperature, Chance folded the damp cloth and placed it over his forehead. “Okay… how often does he have episodes, approximately? I know you can’t give definitive answers. Things like that don’t have static timeframes. I knew he self-harmed. Does he just cut or are there other ways? Lexi’s stressed about that part, if it happens when he’s with her. It’s hard for her… for us… to learn how much suffering he’s been through and how sick he is.”
“It’s sporadic. There’s not a lot of pattern to it but maybe once, twice a month. You have to understand that not all his episodes are severe, though. That’s all worst case scenario. They can come mild or moderate too, and he can be okay. Keep functioning in a limited capacity and he knows what he has to do to help himself, or Sash takes cares of him. You’ll see the signs and so will your sister. If it seems like he’s getting worse quickly, call for help. You think of a way someone can self-harm, then he’s probably tried it multiple times. He’s come a long way even in the time I’ve known him. But he’s also had setbacks. What are you most worried about? I’m getting a sense you and your family probably have specific concerns that you think will be dealbreakers if you screw up. Understandable. Is it that you’re worried he suicide on your watch?” Arian guessed quietly, watching Chance. He was a confident and self-assured guy, pretty much Ari’s type. But even the most confident of people could still be terrified someone they loved were at risk of taking their own life.
Chance took a slow breath, giving Ari a close gaze. “I’m trying to figure out if I’m just that obvious or if this is what everyone goes through adjusting to coming into his life. It wasn’t something I wanted to directly say but I feel like it’s something Lexi’s scared to directly say, even if it’s probably what’s terrifying her the most. She’s not scared to be Justin’s mom. She’s been his mom his whole life, she’s ready for this. It would just be such a cruel twist of fate if she gets him, and loses him in her care again. Not sure she’d ever recover from that.”
“No one would. She has to know she’s not alone. None of you are. But you’re a doctor, so I know you know I can’t tell you it’ll be fine and won’t happen. He understands people are scared. He’s scared. Whenever he attempts, he wakes up in a hospital bed to a rude shock that he’s still alive, still very suicidal. Do you not feel like you can talk to him about it? Because the best advice I can give is to do that. Ask him if you can, and he’ll tell you when he’s ready. Justin’s eighteen now and he’s survived horrors a lot of us wouldn’t. Always the best thing for him is to let him tell his own story, in his words. I can give you all the information in the world about his condition and how it presents, but this stuff, if you talk to him, it’ll also show him he can trust you. I’m glad you asked me about this. Makes you seeing me sick worth it.” Arian could understand the processes Justin’s new family would be going through and that they would all probably find their own ways to deal with this, what worked best for them. He squeezed Chance’s leg. “Fuck, I just remembered it’s New Year. Have you slept?”
Chance laughed softly and shook his head. “No, but it’s fine. I might not work in a hospital but I did do all my learning in them, so I’m the king of all-nighters. I wouldn’t be opposed if you pointed me in the direction of where you keep your coffee, though. You should get some rest to try to sleep that flu off a little. I really appreciate you talking to me about all this, though. You’ve given me a lot to think about. As much as I want to be a cool uncle, I want him to know he’s safe with me, with us. That beats anything to do with cool.”
“No. No coffee. Lie down, get some sleep. Giving you somewhere to lie down after you came so far out of your way to check on me after being up all night is the least I can do. Come on. We can’t fuck, so it’s the next best thing, right?” Ari patted the vacant space beside him in his king-sized bed that he hadn’t shared with anyone since he and Trey decided they were better as friends. “You can probably find some sweatpants in the dresser if you want to be more comfortable.”
Chance raised his eyebrows at the casual invite but he was still smiling. Ari was feeling like shit and he looked exactly as he was feeling. The easiest thing he could do is ask Chance to leave and then crawl into bed and hibernate until the flu passed. But he was inviting him to stay to get some rest and it was sweet. “Yeah, okay. Why not? But only if you promise to let me give you a hand. If you need or want anything, just give me a nudge. I can help. It’s the least I can do in thanks.” He stood and moved to the dresser, finding a pair of light grey FCUK sweatpants. He shucked his jeans off and pulled the sweatpants on and unbuttoned his dress shirt, leaving him in just his black tank top. He lay down on the spot beside Ari, lying on his side with his head propped up on his hand. “Is it too forward to ask why the hell your ex spouse let you get away? They must’ve been nuts.”
Ari closed his eyes and in lieu of being able to laugh because he felt too shit, he just huffed a breath of amusement through his nose. “Okay, deal. But the pills you gave me are working. I don’t feel as nauseous. Hopefully you’ve spared me the indignity of having to yack in front of you again. Ah. The ex. Ex-husband, I’m gay. Yeah, there’s no great secret. We did everything way too quickly and way too young, it was the wrong choice, and ultimately he cheated on me. Once we hit that place, I wanted it over. Chalked it up to a stupid mistake and moved on.” He unfolded the cloth and wiped it over his face, then left it there, trying to draw some relief from the dampness that wasn’t cool anymore from his flushed skin. “If you want something juicy, I previously dated Justin’s attorney, who happens to be his dad’s employee.”
“Damn. You are hardcore, aren’t you? I mean about banging the attorney, not the ex-husband. That sucks. He sounds like an ass who doesn’t deserve you. Young or not, you don’t fuck around on your partner. See, you’re a living breathing posterboy of why I like to ease into relationships. Granted, I’m not going to profess to be an expert. I just figure I’ll know what I’m looking for when I find it. How did that go down with Mark and Justin, though? Is that why it’s not still a thing?” Chance asked, curious. He pushed Ari’s damp hair back, tucking it behind his ear.
Ari snorted softly in amusement and it made him cough. He had to take the cloth away to sit up and sip some water. “Trey and I thought we were being pretty smart and discreet, but Justin figured it out and called us out on it. I still have no fucking idea how he figured it out beyond the fact he’s extremely cluey and observant. His uncle, Alec, thinks it stems from having to live with hypervigilance constantly through the years he was being abused. Trey’s identical twin is Kyan, married to one of Justin’s big sisters, Reecy. If you spoke to Autumn, she probably filled you in on some of this stuff. And Mark’s a reformed manwhore, so he didn’t care. He thought it was hilarious we were trying to hide it but we just didn’t want to make anything more complicated. Trey’s a great guy and I adore him but we got to a point where it was logistically a nightmare, so we stopped it before it turned nasty.” He put the glass on his nightstand and slumped back onto his pillow. “You’ve got the right idea, though. Don’t rush that shit. It’s nicer when you stop and smell the roses.”
Chance smiled, tucking the blanket back in around Ari. “Autumn and I… okay, cards on the table? We slept together. But it was a one-off and we both knew that was it. She has a sort of thing with another actor and all that crap. She figured out that maybe I had a bit of a thing for you. Which leads me to my next point, in case my sleeping with her was a clincher or anything. I’d like to take you out for dinner when you’re feeling better. You were exceptionally hot in the sack and I might be slightly addicted to your ass but I’d like to get to know you more, just when you’re not feeling so much like you want to chuck your guts up. If you’re not interested or that would make things way too complicated for you with Justin, I’ll totally understand.”
Shifting his head on his pillow to try to accommodate his aching neck, Arian gave Chance a quiet look. “No clincher. I’m not an asshole. I’m glad you hooked up with her. Autumn’s a sweet chick but had fuck ups like we all have. Her heart’s in the right place and she’s gorgeous. You should have fun at New Year. As for Justin…” He trailed off, smirking. “Justin loves matchmaking. He spent so long without love around him, he wants everyone he loves to have it. Okay, I’d love to have dinner with you but let's leave out the details for now. The mere thought of food makes me want to puke.”
“So, that’s what he’s doing with Lexi and his uncle. She was so sure it would upset him or piss him off. Actually, I think at first she thought they would try to pull a you and Trey, keeping his hush, but he walked in on them naked in bed, so that went out the window.” Chance hadn’t been letting his big sister live it down either. Once he knew Justin was okay with it, he thought it was hilarious. His sister hadn’t let herself be open to sex or relationships in ages and a few weeks into finding her kid, she’s nailing his uncle. He was a proud little brother. “Okay, it’s a date and I won’t mention the D-word until you’re feeling better. Does that mean the other D-word could be on the table again at some point…?”
“What? Your sister and Sam? Shit, I’ve missed out on some good stuff. I can see it, though. I think Sam’s like her in that sense. Plus, if it helps, I can vouch that he’s basically one of the nicest and kindest guys to ever exist in the universe. He won’t hurt her. I’m not even exaggerating, he’s disgustingly nice. I mean that with all the love in the world. He should be a Disney Prince.” Arian scrunched his face up, burrowing further under the covers when feeling overheating changing into feeling chilled. Fucking fevers. “If you’re talking about my dick, that’s definitely going to have to wait because I’m sure even that’s hurting right now. Just hit me up again when I shake this fucker.”
“Yeah? Didn’t know real good guys like that existed beyond Disney. Justin joked about his dad being a manwhore so I guess I just thought being his identical twin, he’d be the same. Not that there’s anything wrong with that because it’s no secret I’ve got a membership into that brigade myself but I really, really don’t anyone to hurt her. She’s been hurt more than anyone should be. She’s ached every single day for that kid and now she has him. I just want her to be as happy as she can be. He’ll take care of her? I don’t have to stress quite as much about it?” Chance noticed Ari was shivering now so he pulled the extra blanket from the bottom of the bed and tucked it around him, rubbing his back to give him a little more warmth.
Ari hummed and closed his eyes. “They exist and he’s there in the flesh. He won’t even mind if you pull the protective brother routine on him because he does it himself. He’s the one to talk to for awesome uncling tips. He talked Justin down from a ledge one night in the middle of a psychotic episode. He and Mark and Yin and Yang. They’re nothing alike. He’ll take care of her. Don’t stress…” he mumbled.
Chance watched Ari doze off and settled onto the pillows himself. This whole situation was a gigantic mindfuck but this part wasn’t bad. Now he had an official date for the first time in a long time and life was suddenly flowing in a direction none of them expected. He certainly didn’t mind that Ari’s gorgeous ass had landed in his lap - literally - and now wasn’t the time to take any of this for granted.
LOG, COMPLETE