"It's both. Honestly, this is the first I've really confronted it but new decade and all, right? It's not denial. It's just easy to not think about sex when you don't feel like it and have no libido. It's like, say there's this giant chocolate cake and everyone wants some of it. They can have as much or as little as they want and they know it's going to taste awesome because they've been having chocolate cake for years. I used to love chocolate cake. A lot of it. Now all of a sudden, after having cancer treatment, not only do I not feel like chocolate cake anymore, I don't even really feel like any cake. Even if I occasionally think, okay, I might just have a small bit, nine times out of ten, I drop the spoon before I finish it." Beau shrugged, figuring it was the best metaphor he had. He sipped the coffee and then nursed the cup against his chest. "Wedding vows aren't an unbreakable contract, as much as we wish they were. They're a promise. Promises get broken. Other than the sex stuff, I tire easily, so I have longer breaks in my rotation. The hospital's been really great about it. I'm lactose intolerant. Some days I have bone pain, so I've had to learn to take it easy when that happens and weed helps, so there's that. Recovery was never going to be a walk in the park but I never expected to lose myself so much. Shit, talking about this stuff is exhausting..." He scratching his fingers through his hair when a fatigue set in.