"Love me like you do."

[inkandleather]

Who: Jace and Jesse Hartley
What: Revelations
Where: Neuro Unit, Mount Sinai
When: Morning after the trip to South Carolina

Jace's nana had sent him a text a little while ago saying Jesse was awake and lucid that morning, and asking for Jace was the first thing he had done. The night before, Jace had slept really hard, crashing in the wake of the stressful day. That meant he woke up feeling like he was hung over because stress was his biggest enemy. He had already been stressed with Jesse sick, as anyone would be whenever their partner wasn't well. Just everything else on top of it, and Jace not wanting to reason with his decision to go to South Carolina to get the information he needed for Jesse, and ASAP. The flight there and back had been rough, the confrontation with Jesse's mother had brought out his inner bitch pretty distinctly, but all that took energy he had little of.

That meant now that morning had come and he was awake, he was hazy himself. It took extra focus to do the most basic of things. He even put his shirt on inside out and it took way too long for him to figure out why he couldn't get the buttons to work. Days like this, he despised being brain-injured, but there was nothing he could do about it. He got ready to go back to the hospital to Jesse slowly, and somehow managed a typo-laden text message back to his Nana telling her to let Jesse know he was on his way. He nearly went out the door without taking his meds too. Luckily Evan, always on the ball, intercepted him to remind him and then gave him a lift to the hospital because he wasn't satisfied Jace would make it there safely being as foggy as he was.

Which is why this conversation was going to be tough, but at least he and Jesse were in the same boat together. Both their brains were fucked. It never felt lonely anymore. He stopped at the vending machine and got Jesse some of his favourite apple juice. Much like Jace with his bananas, it was only really apple juice Jesse would stomach in the wake of his seizures. They always had some in the fridge at home.

"Hey, baby," he murmured when he arrived, giving Jesse a faint, relived smile to see him away. He was still pale and really off-colour but that, too, was something Jace was used to now. He gave Jesse a kiss and then cuddled him the best he could, really not wanting to let go once he started. "How are you feeling?"

Comments

[slowsouthernstyle]

Jesse gave a small shrug and closed his eyes, grateful for the cuddle. He felt like he had been hit by a bus. He had woken up and gone to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but while he was in there, he got those rapid warning signs. He had tried to call out for Jace but it hadn't been loud enough and that was the last thing he remembered. He had Ethan with him for a little while that morning, explaining to him what had happened, and Nana was there, who told him Jace had gone home to get some sleep. That was exactly what Jesse needed to hear, but he still wanted to see his husband.

"What's the matter? You're sick. I can hear it in your voice." He gave a weak squeeze to Jace's arm. "I'm sorry, darlin'. I know it stresses you out. I wish this would just sort itself out so we can get back to normal. I haven't had one in ages, now this.

[inkandleather]

Jace shook his head a little. "I'm not sick, just... stressed. Under pressure. Not because you're sick. I mean, that does stress me out, you know that. For obvious reasons, but this is something more this time. It's... I..." He sat down on the edge of the bed beside Jesse and took his hand, while his other first scratch at his forehead and then rubbed his face. "I don't want you to think I can't handle this, or that you have to apologise. Ever. This is us, it's how it is. I just want you to remember that. It's never you, I can handle this. I worry about you, but I'll never not worry about you."

"Just bear with me here, okay? I want to explain the best I can, but my brain's not really cooperating today. You know how Ethan's been studying your epilepsy? Right back to when it started, so he had your hospital records sent here? He found something in them. Not something that they missed with your condition. It's nothing like that. It is something that's going to change your life, though. And I just... I wanted to stop it hurting. Then I realised I couldn't," he admitted quietly, looking down at the hands while his fingers softly toyed with Jesse's wedding ring. It had been taken off him when he was first admitted, but Jace had given it to his Nana to put back into Jesse's fingers as soon as he was feeling better.

[slowsouthernstyle]

The thing here was that Jace looked sick. His eyes were a little bloodshot and puffy, his face was pale. That happened on his bad days. Anyone who new Jace could tell just by looking at him the days he wasn't doing well. It was a terrible strain on him to try to get his brain to keep working adequately on the days it was against him. What Jace was sitting here saying to his was twisting Jesse's gut up with anxiety and worry. What could he possibly be talking about? Those records were a good 18 years old now. Ethan hadn't said anything to him when he had been here before.

"You're scarin' me, baby," he admitted uncertainly. There was no point trying to pre-empt what Jace was going to tell him because his own brain wasn't functioning enough for that either. All he knew was that there was something written all over Jace's face that he had never seen before, but he didn't know what it was. "H-Have you caught somethin' off me? Is it anythin' like that?"

[inkandleather]

"Nothing like that," Jace murmured, but he could feel tears coming again. Not as bad as how much he broke down in the South Carolina cab the evening before, but he was welling up as he wet his lips and took the folded pieces of paper from his pocket. They were all creased up now because they had been through the wringer. "I know you're probably wondering why Ethan didn't say anything to you, and it's because I asked him not to. I wanted to tell you, because you're my husband and I knew you wouldn't be feeling well when this had to all come out."

He met Jesse's gaze and still had a protective hold on his hand. "You're dad's not your real dad, honey. There's a mix-up with your blood group and what your dad is. He's something that makes it impossible to be your biological father. It was on print-outs of blood tests your parents had when they had to be prepared if you needed a blood transfusion. The actual facts of it all just won't fucking stick in my head no matter how I try, but it's here. I know you'll understand that medical stuff. Ethan came and told me, and I booked flights for Ev and me to go speak to your mom straight away. We went yesterday. I want to at least have a name I could tell you before you knew. I've just been so angry."

[slowsouthernstyle]

Jesse was listening the best he could, but it was near impossible to comprehend. He couldn't even say anything. Normally, he would be right to reassuring Jace, taking care of him, comforting him. Because Jesse always put that above and beyond everything else, but this was such a freak and far-out thing going down here that he didn't know what he was supposed to do. He didn't know what to think, or if he was even taking in what Jace was actually saying. His head was so sore, like it always was in the days after a seizure. That wasn't helping. He felt like he was going to be sick, but a sucking in a sharp breath and trying to swallow the lump in his throat away seemed to allay it for now.

He looked at the papers Jace had, but he couldn't take in what was there. The print was small and his eyes weren't focusing as well as they should be. The shock was setting in, and even something akin to panic. He wanted to think his mother wouldn't do this to him, but it was it came with a very sharp hit of reality that she probably could. It was probably the lesser of two evils to her than being made a mockery of by the church, and ostracised because of it. "Fuck," he mumbled hoarsely and his eyes filled with tears. He didn't know how else to react here. It was like a kick in the guts, and his whole life felt like a sham.